FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Apr 17, 2006

The Monday Dumps

Rainy days and Mondays don't necessarily get me down, but they sure do make me feel lazy. We all know what laziness leads to, right! Link dumps!!

According to Bloody-Disgusting, the casting for Resident Evil: Extinction has been confirmed...which means the movie will actually be happening. Lest you get your hopes up that the series will make an abrupt turn and save itself from ruin, you should know that Paul WS Anderson once again wrote the script, which goes like this: something something Alice something desert something revenge. I know I'll end up seeing this movie because I won't be able to resist the videogame I love-horror movie-Milla triumverate. I actually liked the first Resident Evil in some cheesy way...but the second one? What was that, Apocalyse? Oh, my. That was just...bad/bad. Talk about wasted opportunities! How the filmmakers managed to turn the concept of a city overrun with zombies into something so...zombie-less and boring is beyond me. The Little People vs. Big Evil Corporation subplot is far too convoluted and ill-defined to be effective. I just...eh, like I said...my will is weak, and there's always hope.


Apparently, the official French site for Silent Hill has a scene with Pyramid Head in action! Of course, I'm ignoring all the scenes and clips that have been popping up all over the place in anticipation of Friday. FRIDAY! FRIDAY, PEOPLE! At long last, I can shut my big fat mouth about this movie. It better not suck. Anyway, if you wanna check out the clip, head over to the decidedly French site Silent Hill- Le Film.

Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Marge, Bart, and Lisa were complaining that no one ever listens to them, and Homer came in and said something like "I'm a white male age 18-34. Everyone listens to me!" and he pulls out a can of Nuts n Gum? Well, I believe we've found the cinematic equivalent of Nuts n Gum, folks; I give you StagKnight, wherein horny teens, paintball, and King Arthur come together at last. There's not much up on the site yet, but it seems like this flick will be tongue-in-cheek (I hope) and over the top. I question the tactic of calling your site visitors "losers", though- all the dead links are snarky and insulting. Did these people learn nothing from We Are the World?

Guess what? Tomorrow I'll be announcing the next movie and due date for the Final Girl Film Club! Huzzah, people- huzzah, I say!

8 comments:

The Retropolitan said...

Please don't let it be "Hide and Creep." I just watched that last night. Still better than "Bloody Murder," though!

dreamrot said...

I really liked the second Resident Evil movie. Though I tend to agree that it was lacking in the zombie department. But as an action movie, it worked for me. I don't know, I mean I still prefer the first one, but RE: Apocalypse could have been a lot worse. I really just kind of hppe that Extinction goes back to the zombies.

The Retropolitan said...

RE2 made my brain explode with stupid.

B.A. Slattery said...

I saw the first RE in theaters. Two seven-year-old children ruined it for me. When the guy is sliced apart by lasers, I heard, "Mommy, what happened to that man?" really loudly and immediately felt guilty and horrified.

That, and the movie sucked sac.

Chadwick H. Saxelid said...

Third time is the charm, I guess. It will probably be the first RE movie I actually see during its theatrical run. My son and I really enjoyed RE:A, just for the inclusion of Nemesis. The moment where he growled "Starrrrsssssss was a geekbastic moment.

Too bad the rest of the two movies has treated the source material as so poorly.

Josh said...

Please let it be The Dead Hate the Living!

Fatally*Yours said...

Stacy, I can't wait until you announce the new film club movie...I will join in on the fun this time if the movie isn't too horrible!

Stacie Ponder said...

HA! I can make no promises as to the quality of the Film Club choices. Yeah, I'd been warned last time, sure. But I'm trying to stick with movies I've never seen, so who knows what the result will be! I WILL try to pick stuff out that at least LOOKS decent though.

Besides, what doesn't kill us will make us stronger, right? :P