FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

Apr 4, 2006

The Weakening

I don't know about you, but while growing up I spent most Saturday mornings plunked in front of the TV watching cartoons. I'd get up wicked early and, as a child of the late-70s/early-80s, I'd enjoy such classic shows as Super Friends, Scooby-Doo, Hong Kong Fooey, and Josie and the Pussycats (my absolute favorite, whether they were rocking out here or deep in outer space). I'd go out and play, come back inside for Channel 56's Creature Double Feature or Kung Fu Theatre, then head back outside to play. Ah, yes, the good ol' days.

Say what you will, but my love of Saturday mornings has never faded. Not too long ago, one could still partake in the joys of lazy weekend cartoon watching, courtesy of shows like Jackie Chan Adventures, X-Men Evolution, Pepper Ann, and yes, even Pokemon. Sorry to disappoint you, but yeah, I watched Pokemon. Jigglypuff never failed to amuse my simple mind.

I live in a cable-less household, so we rely on regular old network TV to provide. In the last couple of years, though, I've noticed a startling trend: cartoons on Saturday morning are all but obsolete. What's taken their place? Kid's versions of adult shows. There's a kid version of Lost, of Survivor, of Trading fucking Spaces. While I'm a cartoon fan (excuse me, should I say "animation"? Will that give me more cred?), I do realize that Saturday morning TV is no longer my domain- I'm far beyond the target demographic. Maybe kids want their own version of Lost, I don't know. Children are a mystery to me, whilst I do believe that they are the future.

Where am I going with all this, how does it relate to horror movies, and have I lost mind? You may be asking yourself these questions. Well, I'll tell ya. You may have all heard about this by now, but Fox Searchlight has a new division: Fox Atomic. This is the teen division, and they hope to release movies in lots of different genres that will appeal to the younger set. You can read a blurb about it here, at Movie Web.

One of their first releases will be a follow up to the 2002 are they really zombies? I don't care because it's a really good movie anyway hit 28 Days Later. Titled 28 Weeks Later, the film will be a PG-13 production from a company aiming at the teen market. I'll let that sink in for a moment.


I love the idea of horror tailor-made for kids; I sucked that kind of thing up when I was a wee bonny lass. I'm just a bit taken aback- and yes, very very disappointed- that the sequel to one of the best horror movies to come out in recent years (one of Brennon's Beacons of Hope, even) is going to be a PG-13, Goosebumps-o-tized effort. Sigh.

15 comments:

Chadwick H. Saxelid said...

I read about that a short awhile ago. Got a real WTF? response from me. It's like hearing that Seals and Kroft are planning on doing a Saturday Morning Dawn of the Dead series for kids TV. "It's kind of like Land of the Lost, but with zombies...and in a mall. Think of the product placement!"

I pretty much consider 28 DAYS LATER to be the movie that kick started the most recent horror surge (I think SAW helped keep it going), so this news is rather dismaying.

Stacie Ponder said...

I agree: 28 Days did help kick off a renewed interest in serious horror- that's part of the reason why I'm so surprised to see it get the watered-down sequel treatment. Bummer.

dreamrot said...

Couldn't they just make a DIFFERENT zombie movie? Doesn't have to be a sequel. Just a different movie. Put all of your Saved By the Bell favorites (that is still the hip kids show, right? No? Not for a long time, huh? Hmm...well, then the comparable stars for today...) and just make something different. What do we really need to take a sequel and make something new? A new location maybe, a handful of NAMES? It just seems like it should be as easy to make something completely new as it would be to make a sequel.

snarf said...

I wonder what you mean by " I sucked that kid of thing up when I was a wee bonny lass."

You sucked kids? Where you some kind of freaky vampire-zombie lass? And kids are people too, not a thing.

Stacie Ponder said...

A no-prize to you, snarf, for spotting the typo!

Des said...

Teen Titans is fun and frenetic TV.

Justice League is a great adult-oriented cartoon that kids can enjoy too.

Fairly Odd-Parents is pretty good.

Danny Phantom as well.

I've only seen Avatar once but that was fun.

Stacie Ponder said...

Sigh...my kingdom for cable TV.

Des said...

This is basic cable for me, babe! YTV in Canada rocks!!

Oh yeah...Spongebob is all sorts of funny too.

Josh said...

I'm a little saddened to hear this. I was really hoping that we'd see more of the 28 Days Later world, but not with bickering "teen of the week" stars and toned down gore.

Isn't the way the virus transmits going to run afoul of a PG-13?

Chop-a-holic said...

This is such a shame! 28 Days was the first movie in a looooong time to actually get a response out of me. When she got stabbers elbow on the other guy after becoming infected? Oh WOW! I did NOT see that coming like that... I actually had hopes of actual fear returning to my senses on the big screen after decades of nothing. They repay us with muppet babies >_<

C

Chop-a-holic said...

It's so weird that you're talking about the lack of Saturday mornings... I've been bitching about the lack of cartoons at work all week! I think I stumbled onto why some of the cartoons aren't replayed. Do you remember Super-Chicken and the magic martini's? Oooooh... THAT's why! I was a fan of Tom Slick followed later by Battle of the Planets. But the all time classics like Tom and Jerry, Bugs, Foghorn Leghorn, Sylvester and Tweetey are responsible for my bloodlust according to the censors. Something about seeing a Giant talking rooster smacking a dogs ass with a stick followed by the dog stretching his neck after reaching the end of his rope just makes me want to go out and try it! At least it wasn't teaching me that having my pet fight a friends pet was a good way to make new friends like Pokemon! It's the same as that "Devil music Rock and/or Roll" making teenagers act provacitivly.... The 60's were all about peace love and understanding and how many of those "kids" are still under THAT influence?!?!?

Okay I'm kicking myself off the soapbox now. Sorry!

C

Anonymous said...

Why not create a cartoon of Shaun of the Dead or even do a sequel of that for kids. 28 Days deserves more than a PG-13 sequel (no offense to the kiddies).

Dammit, I need to get an ID.

Joel <--Lazy Arse!

calgon said...

Wait, hold on. You are from MA?

Cool!

Stacie Ponder said...

Ha! Close...I'm from southeastern Connecticut, which means I had it so sweet: Creature Double Feature from 56 and Movie Loft on 38 courtesy of Boston, and all the goodness of PIX 11 Alive! from New York.

Ahhhh, the good ol' days.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Goosebumps, did you ever read the Young Adult books dedicated to Friday the 13th and Halloween. The Friday ones were pretty good. I also own the entire Young Adult books series based on California Dreams. So sue me...

As for Saturdays, I perferred the nights (but alas I had cable) where I got a bit of the scary stuff courtesy of Commander USA's Groovy Movies, USA Up All Night and the best of all--I'm from Vegas and our horror movie host was Count Cool Rider, an Elvis Impersonating Vampire. He had a nice ass.

Amanda By Night