And no, I'm not getting a sex change, in case that's what you were thinking.
So on Halloween I cleverly went to see some movie called Halloween. Much fun was had by all. I've seen the movie so many times it's difficult to be objective about it- it's always been one of my favorites, but watching it this time I couldn't help but think that if I were seeing it for the first time, if I were 54 years younger, there's a chance I would've been bored out of my gourd. It feels like such a relic, despite the fact that it's not at all dated. Aside from Lynda's incessant (and incessantly awesome) "Totally!"s, there's nary a cultural anachronism in the film. At the same time, however, the style of the filmmaking is clearly from another era. It's all build, it's all mood. The thrills and kills are all crammed into the last 20 minutes of a two-hour film. There's no jump cuts, almost no blood...and even at the height of the 'action', it's subdued and calm. It's a masterpiece of horror cinema, but kids don't want masterpieces of cinema, do they? I don't mean the young'uns will accept anything that's fed to them- crap is crap and is generally easily detected, no matter how 'cool' it's made to seem. But pacing in entertainment is vastly different today than it was in 1978.
Which brings me to the forthcoming remake / reimagining / reuintedanditfeelssogoodening of Halloween. A part of me, of course, thinks it's a completely unnecessary venture. Another part of me, however, thinks well, why the hell not? I can't say I have the utmost faith in Rob Zombie after House of 1000 Corpses, but breathing new life into an old flick might not hurt. I know for sure it won't hurt any less than Parts 5, 6, or Resurrection. It's impossible. Critical mass of suckage was achieved with those shitpiles. The bubble burst, so to speak, which clearly plays in Senor Zombie's favor. And no matter what Michael Myers ends up doing on the screen next year, it won't take away from my enjoyment of Carpenter's flick. Who knows, it might even be good. Stranger things have happened. I loved the Dawn of the Dead remake, despite the fact that I was bound and determined not to. In some respects, I like it more than I like the original.
Remember a while back when I mentioned Annie's death scene and the ridiculous face she makes? Well, while watching Halloween in a darkened theatre the big Laurie finds all the bodies scene happened and reminded me about this:
What the fuck? Apparently I need to take a class in...err, death, I guess...at my local community college, because I'm wholly unconvinced that people's eyes cross like that when they die. If it is true, I call foul. Doesn't death take away enough dignity without leaving one looking like poor Lynda here? It's as if Laurie has just stumbled upon the retarded sister she never knew she had because her parents keep the girl locked away in a cupboard.