FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Nov 2, 2006

in absentia

Sorry I've been quiet and October fizzled out. Here's a list of possible excuses...one of which may actually be true! I'll leave the decision up to you, however, so as to cater to all your needs and keep you entertained and guessing:

- tennis elbow
- major candy corn/tequila bender
- simple chronic halitosis
- achy breaky heart
- my house has been overrun by mallet-wielding, snowsuit-clad dwarves (I'm posting from my hiding spot in my crawlspace...sshh! They might hear me!)
- ebola
- I've been runnin'...against the wind
- my time machine is complete and I've been hanging out with Claire Bloom in The Haunting
- my transporter machine is complete but something went wrong and I now am a horribly disfigured creature to be known heretofore as PonderFly
- I cloned myself because I'm really busy and I thought the clones could help me get shit done but all they do is sit around playing video games
- my hair got caught in an escalator and I've only just been extracted

That should keep you occupied for a while. Keep reaching for the stars...my ebola will clear up in a jif. Not that I have ebola, maybe, but it's on the list.

4 comments:

Bill Walsh said...

D'ohh. Sorry to hear it. I suspect your nemesis, Candy "The Stacie Butcher" Ponder, is actually wandering your house with a double-headed ax, muttering beneath her breath while you cower with your laptop under your desk saying, "Damn, why did I leave the .357 in my nightstand drawer?"

al K. Haul aka the2ndsuitor said...

My guesses are:
Achy Breaky Pelvis or Jugglers Dispair?

maybe it's just that the movies this year have mostly sucked!

Josh said...

My dear Watson, I deduce another culprit....

Dead Rising strikes again!

Theron said...

...oooh, maybe it's All of the Above...yikes!