You know those Internerd survey question-and-answer thingies, like the one I posted right here? Well, I done got "tagged" to answer a few more movie-related questions. Yup, my good ol' cyberpals cattleworks and Heather (click their names to read their surveys answers...do it!) want to read my answers to the following questions...and since they do, I can only assume that there are hundreds of thousands, if not gajillions of other cyberfolk out there who want the same.
"internerd"..."tagged"..."cyber"..."the"...I'm living on the edge here in this modern, computerized age here, people; careful, don't cut yourselves. Now then- questions and answers!
Dammit, Charles Nelson Reilly, don't be such a spoil sport. That is most definitely not the Christmas Spirit.
1. Popcorn or candy?
For what? When I'm trying to lure children into my big dirty van, I'd have to say that I've had more success with candy. Puppies, of course, are golden, but a bag of Sour Patch Kids can do the trick in a pinch.
I always say that I hate popcorn, but it's not really true. What I hate is having people around me who are eating popcorn. It kind of drives me crazy, especially when I don't want popcorn. The entire room smells of it, and then all you hear for a half hour is "rustle rustle rustle...crunch crunch crunch" while people rummage around in the bag and then cram way too much popcorn in their mouths at once- or they do the non-stop, rapid fire, vacuumesque one-piece-at-a-time method. Either way, grody to the max.
Remember that movie Popcorn? Yeah.
2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
Audition Audition Audition! It never seems to happen. I even had the damn thing in my house for a week or so and never got around to watching it. What the hell? I want to see it, I've been told I should see it, but I can't make it happen. I suck. I keep meaning to see Wolf Creek as well, but alas. Later today I'll punch myself and sit in the corner thinking about how bad I am.
3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar : Who loses theirs and to whom?
I haven't watched the Oscars in a few years. Not to turn this into some kind of dry intellectual discourse, but I find them to be a little...retarded, although I'll admit I feel a little teary-eyed when the words "Cher" and "Bob Mackie" are uttered in the same breath. That said, however, I think the Oscars sealed their doom when Ellen Burstyn's performance in Requiem for a Dream lost out to Julia Roberts' in Erin Brockovich. I mean, what's next? Teddy bears getting married?
Oh my god...NOOOOOOOOO!
4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
Admission: When I was but a wee bonny lass, I stole a cassette of the Pretty in Pink soundtrack from a local record store. I was so completely wracked with guilt I couldn't even listen to the damn thing, so I can't imagine I'd go through with stealing anything else ever. Except maybe office supplies from a job. Or jewels from the rich. Or maybe insulin from someone's mailbox if I needed it. Or candy from a whiny baby. Maybe I'd steal a car if it was nice.
I'm actually stealing right this minute.
When I think movie costume, I think "costume", like Darth Vader or some shit. And despite my propensity for appearing at comic conventions, I don't think I need a Darth Vader costume "for my wardrobe". So to answer the question...wait, what was the question?
5. Your favorite film franchise is…
As nerdish as it may be (and despite all of its glaring problems), I'd have to say Star Wars. It ain't perfect (or even close), but I'm of the age where I grew up on Star Wars and it's got a place in my heart.
Runners up: Romero's zombie movies, the Alien flicks...maybe even the Friday the 13th series.
6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why’d you invite them? What do you feed them?
Whaaaaa? Damn. Umm...hmm. Do I need to think about how the five people will interact with each other or just me? Can I invite my friends, too, so I have someone to talk to if the "movie people" all suck? Will someone buy me a dinner table so we all have somewhere to sit? Gah! Fuck this Martha Stewart shit.
OK, I'd invite...umm...who the hell would I invite? Crap. Uh...ok. George Romero seems like a nice guy. And those glasses! Yes, perhaps George Romero. 4 more...man, this is hard. Who else would I want to talk to? Maybe Jamie Lee Curtis- she's been in gobs of slashers and might have something to say. And maybe she remembers all her smoove moves from Prom Night and can teach them to us after dinner. A disco-dancing George Romero...ok, now this dinner is starting to take shape. I might invite Christophe Gans and Roger Avery (a package deal) so we can talk about Silent Hill 2, because I'm completely sure that my insight would insure a stellar sequel (cough cough).
How many people am I up to? Dang. Ah! I know! Adrienne Barbeau. Absofuckinglutely. She's got some stories to tell, I'm sure of it. You know, I don't really care about "meeting famous people" beyond the novelty factor, but Adrienne Barbeau is another story. Ok...and...John Carpenter? Maybe. I don't know if he'd be cool or dreadful, you know? I mean, it is an entire dinner. But he's got a good brain to pick. Lastly, I'd invite Jessica Biel to sit directly across from me for obvious reasons.
Duh, I'm a huuuuuuge 7th Heaven fan.
What would I serve these people? Perhaps the person who is magically providing a big table will also provide food.
7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
I suppose I should give some clever answer here involving physical cruelties and torture, but I have a problem with doling out and/or witnessing physical cruelties and torture in real life, so I'll be a big lame-o and say "They have to leave the theatre, dammit!". That's harsh, right? I'll admit, though, the term "exploding heads" does have its charms.
8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
I need a bodyguard suddenly? I feel so Whitney Houston! I have arrived, baby!
I plead the fifth because the question feels a little too "Who would win in a fight, Thor or the Hulk?" for me.
I'd choose Ripley.
9. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen in a movie?
I talked about this kind of thing to a degree way back when, right here. Read and be informed!
10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
What did comedy and drama ever to to be shunned like that? Can I say dramedy? Is that allowed? Huh? Is it? Well, I like horror movies, in case you didn't know. I also like made-for-TV movies, hokey-ass action movies, and disaster movies with all-star casts. Some sci-fi is good. I like movies- why must they all be labeled and categorized and segregated? Can't we all just live together in perfect harmony, like ebony and ivory? We are one world...have you learned nothing from Benetton ads, o internet questions?
11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
No "mega-watt star power" in anything. Other than that, I have no idea. Well, there must be good scripts and small flicks out there that aren't given a chance, though, and I'd change that.
12. Bonnie or Clyde?
Again, I say, for what? And what's with all the questions? Jesus. But really, "Bonnie or Clyde"? Come on.
I choose Faye Dunaway, how's that?
13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey? (Three or more)
I admit, as silly as these question things are, I'd really like to read answers from Amanda by Night, Des, and John Barleycorn. The Final Girl 7. Oh, and of course you!
Man, this thing wiped me out. Well, Charles Nelson Reilly, what do you think now?
Christ, there is just no pleasing that guy.