Gooble gobble, y'all...it's Thanksgiving. For Americans.
I'm about to embark on a journey fraught with many dangers...let's call it The Quest for a Get-Together. Wine, women, men, probably no song, fake turkey, real turkey, and crappy movies. Will I return from this adventure with my mind and soul intact? I should hope so...growing up, they didn't call me "Pitfall Harriet" for nothin'*.
I sincerely wish you all a wonderful holiday...even if you're not American and your day won't include gluttony and sloth in the name of the day where the Pilgrims gave thanks and began the long process of hostile land takeover and genocide**. Hooray!
*No one has ever called me "Pitfall Harriett".
**Yes, that's not completely accurate, but let me save you some time, anonymous, by qualifying right now that it's a joke. Is it a good joke? Meh, it's okay. Truth be told, I much prefer this one, which some people might find offensive...yes, consider that a warning: I walked in on my grandparents having sex and now I can't eat raisins anymore. Not because they're wrinkly, but because he was shoving raisins in her pussy. Happy holidays!