FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Nov 29, 2007

Lame Week: Day 4

Proving myself to be the epitome of lame, I'm simply providing you with a link to a link, probably to another link. In situations like this, I tend to link only to the source material but this time I'd rather link to my decidedly UNlame pal JA, who lays down the skinny on that upcoming Platinum Dunes Friday the 13th remake/relaunch/reimagining/retardening:
Imagine if there was a story to be told somewhere between parts two and four, just add water (from Camp Crystal Lake, duh), insert a leaner, meaner, faster Jason Voorhees, set to "blend" and you've got the recipe for what Dunes, writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift and director Marcus Nispel got cookin'.
As JA points out, umm...Part 3 comes between Parts 2 and 4. And yeah, Parts 2-4 take place very close to one another chronologically. I mean, is it simply going to be some sort of "Jason Chronicles"? Like, umm...Jason kills people at the camp and stuff? BAH I SAY.

Why can't they just cop to the fact that they're making Friday the 13th Part 11? Why all the smoke and mirrors? Grow some sac, Platinum Dunes!

4 comments:

Old Dark Housekeeper said...

Not trying to be rational or anything, but wouldn't it be more savvy to hold off on the remake until the thirteenth entry?

JA said...

I think I need to have a T-shirt made with "decidedly UNlame" printed on the front. It speaks the truth!

It just hit me this instant as I began typing this sentence right here, but I have to say there's something suddenly sorta endearing about their terribly mangled bid to qualify this film as anything but Part 11. It's fitting with the series, and Jason's, history kinda, in how it/he was always the retarded stepchild of the 80's Slasher Icons. They try so hard!

That said, Jason is my namesake and I love this goddamn retarded stepchild.

Anonymous said...

You know what. I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again: FUCK REMAKES. Fuck remakes all the way to hell. Let's do the list. Dawn remake - utter shite (sorry stace I know you tolerate that one but I loathe it) Chainsaw remake - utter shite... Fog remake... utter shite... Halloween remake... utter shite. THEY ALL SUCK WITHOUT EXCEPTION. But you know what Stacy??? You know why they won't say they are making Jason 11? Because like, eight people (me, you, and a couple other outcasts) will go see it. Yes, we will love its inherent cheesieness and cheer with each CGI B.S. kill... but the studio exects don't give a shit about that. They know a big deal REMAKE will make them about another 500 grand, and all they care about is the bottom line.

Chadzilla said...

*sigh*

Lame.