Look how exciting the very notion of voting can be!
Well, get ready to raise your briefcases HIGH and get your mouse-clicking fingers poised, my friends, because I'm going all ten kinds of democratic in order to decide the next Film Club choice. What we watch and review next month will be the winner in Yon Vote '08, which is undoubtedly the most important election you'll face this year. Once a winner is crowned and we've heard the requisite concession speeches from the losers, I'll choose a due date. But YOU will be choosing said winner!
All candidates are available from Netflix, but as you'll see they span a few different eras and subgenres. See how difficult this can be? The responsibility that comes with telling people what to watch hangs heavy on my shoulders, and now you'll know what it's like. Choose wisely!
Here are the nominees:
The Food of the Gods (1976)
I posit: is there anything in this world better than watching Ida Lupino battle giant maggots or Marjoe fucking Gortner going mano a beako with a giant chicken? I seriously doubt it.
Crazy Eights (2006)
This one of 8 Films to Die For concerns a dead kid found in a time capsule. That is so much cooler than finding a cassette of Christmas With the California Raisins!
Or is it?
This film also features Traci Lords. 'Nuff said.
House of Seven Corpses (1973)
Decidedly less ambitious than a house of 1000 corpses, yes, but this film features 100% more John Carradine than Rob Zombie's effort. Bad things happen when folks try to film a horror movie in a cursed house, as you might expect. Netflix claims this was released in 2000, but Netflix is a jerk. This is from the swingin' '70s, baby!
Tobe Hooper makes a movie about naked space alien vampire zombies. Look, either that's going to appeal to you or it's not- there's really no middle ground here.
A good old-fashioned UK slasher from Pete Walker, the dude behind the "Holy effing crap, I liked this way more than I thought I would" cannibal flick Frightmare.
There you have it, your nominees for the next Final Girl Film Club. The lines are open, America and the world, and they will be for a week: head over to the right hand column and get your vote on! It's your duty.
Omigod, I kind of love that briefcase lady.