FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

May 20, 2008

everybody loves voting

Look how exciting the very notion of voting can be!

Well, get ready to raise your briefcases HIGH and get your mouse-clicking fingers poised, my friends, because I'm going all ten kinds of democratic in order to decide the next Film Club choice. What we watch and review next month will be the winner in Yon Vote '08, which is undoubtedly the most important election you'll face this year. Once a winner is crowned and we've heard the requisite concession speeches from the losers, I'll choose a due date. But YOU will be choosing said winner!

All candidates are available from Netflix, but as you'll see they span a few different eras and subgenres. See how difficult this can be? The responsibility that comes with telling people what to watch hangs heavy on my shoulders, and now you'll know what it's like. Choose wisely!

Here are the nominees:

The Food of the Gods (1976)

I posit: is there anything in this world better than watching Ida Lupino battle giant maggots or Marjoe fucking Gortner going mano a beako with a giant chicken? I seriously doubt it.






Crazy Eights (2006)

This one of 8 Films to Die For concerns a dead kid found in a time capsule. That is so much cooler than finding a cassette of Christmas With the California Raisins!

Or is it?

This film also features Traci Lords. 'Nuff said.



House of Seven Corpses (1973)

Decidedly less ambitious than a house of 1000 corpses, yes, but this film features 100% more John Carradine than Rob Zombie's effort. Bad things happen when folks try to film a horror movie in a cursed house, as you might expect. Netflix claims this was released in 2000, but Netflix is a jerk. This is from the swingin' '70s, baby!





Lifeforce (1985)

Tobe Hooper makes a movie about naked space alien vampire zombies. Look, either that's going to appeal to you or it's not- there's really no middle ground here.








Schizo (1976)

A good old-fashioned UK slasher from Pete Walker, the dude behind the "Holy effing crap, I liked this way more than I thought I would" cannibal flick Frightmare.







There you have it, your nominees for the next Final Girl Film Club. The lines are open, America and the world, and they will be for a week: head over to the right hand column and get your vote on! It's your duty.

Omigod, I kind of love that briefcase lady.

44 comments:

The Retropolitan said...

ANYTHING BUT CRAZY EIGHTS

Theron said...

The Food of the Gods, baby. I mean, MARJOE GORTNER! C'mon.

Keri said...

cool blog! i'm not a big fan of scary movies, but this seems like a really unique blog idea.

Geoff J said...

Food of the Goods

StinkyLulu said...

FOOD OF THE GODS!!!

pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease
pleaseplease

Craig Moorhead said...

Keri! Why didn't you vote? Why do you hate democracy?

I vote 'Schizo'.

marykate said...

Say "your mom" wins the poll. What are we gonna have to watch for Film Club? Do I even wanna know?

Erin said...

Ooh, I gotta go with Ida Lupino... Food of the Gods!

Rebec said...

Well, it seems like most people are going with The Food of the Gods, so I'm going to write in a vote for The Gods Must Be Crazy. I told you--I'm scared of scary movies!

Headquarters 10 said...

You'd sure as heck get a LIFEFORCE posting out of me than anything else. SO much to be said about that one, I can't begin to tell you, but I would if it were the Final Girl Film Club.

Kai said...

C'mon people, push for Schizo!

Wise Owl said...

The Food of the Gods,of course...

Bonnie said...

I vote Food Of The Gods, hands down. Just saw it relatively recently and it's a masterpiece. Stacie, please pick Food Of The Gods, because I heartily look forward to the undoubtedly hilarious review you'd write of it and, frankly, you need a companion piece for your awesome review of Food Of The Gods 2. There is nothing more beautiful than Marjo Gortner being attacked by a giant chicken.

whitney said...

Lifeforce!! If there's one thing I love it's naked space alien vampire zombies! (if there's two things I love it's naked space alien vampire zombies and apple crisp)

-Whitney
dearjesus.wordpress.com

John Barleycorn said...

I say Schizo. I also hate Democracy.

Communism 4eva!

casey @ OYFP said...

I vote for Food of the Gods.

That briefcase lady seriously needs to eat some food, her legs look like toothpicks!

rob! said...

Food of the Gods, as long as you keeping using the phrase "Marjoe fucking Gortner" in the review.

BlackEyedP said...

i love final girl so much, i linked her to my blog! best horror flick site around. thanks:)

j-man said...

Oh man! I voted for "Lifeforce", but it was a toss up between it and "Food of the Gods". I'd be happy with either. I also wouldn't mind "Crazy Eights". And it's neck and neck between "Lifeforce" and "Food of the Gods" right now! I don't know if I can wait six more days for the results!

Adam said...

I'm going with Lifeforce. I have a soft spot in my heart for Tobe Hooper and naked alien vampire zombies.
Also, briefcase lady is feelin' it, big time!

Anonymous said...

We want Lifeforce
We want Lifeforce
We want Lifeforce as in
WE WANT LIFEFORCE!

can't wait to see your review!

Theron said...

But, then again, Traci Lords...hmmm...naw, I know she doesn't get naked, so...Food of the Gods, baby!!!!

Fox said...

OMG...great picks!

And the race is tight : FOOD 17 ; LIFEFORCE 19...

Wait, I need to vote...

Now it's FOOD 18 ; LIFEFORCE 19

This is much better than the NBA Playoffs!

Rod Barnett said...

If you have never seen LIFEFORCE you really should. Honestly. It's amazing.

Luca Trifilio said...

An interesting blog, I surely come back when I have more time to take a deeper look.

Anyway, I vote for 'House Of Seven Corpses'.

Ghidorah said...

Sure, food of the gods is a tempting choice.

But I really can't resist a naked Mathilda May... I'm just a weak man.

So my vote go to LIFEFORCE!

Adam P said...

Sorry, but other than the naked space alien vampire zombies, there's nothing else to the movie, so I would not go with Lifeforce if I were you...(but I'm not so that probably won't stop anyone)

Mick said...

I went to the cinema on the back of great looking trailers to see Lifeforce when it was released. I remember it being OK and not worthy of the slagging it gets by the Young Un's nowadays.

Food of the Gods however is another story. A story of pants.

Exclamation Mark said...

My gut instinct says Food of the Gods! Still, all this talk of naked space alien vampire zombies has me wondering. But no, I'll stick with my guns and go for Food of the Gods! But, wow, naked space alien vampire zombies...

Matthew said...

oh good lord.

Stacie, i love reading your blog, but until now I've never left a message. I was hoping for the opportunity to excercise heroic wit or at least so kind of wry insight..however you've now forced me to debut my messaging with...

SPACE VAMPIRES! LIFEFORCE! YAY!

Ewwww...i feel dirty now.

Evol Kween said...

How could any forgo naked space alien vampire zombies? Lifeforce, please!

(I fear I won't be able to find any of these movies down here in Australia....)

Jason Soto said...

Briefcase Lady should be the offical mascot, or lawyer, of Final Girl.

I just started reading your blog and if I could I'd marry it. Or...not.

Anyway, I voted for Crazy Eights cause it was the underdog and I gotta go for the underdog. But for my first Final Girl Film Club review I'll do just about anything.

And I do mean ANYTHING!
-Jason

Pierce said...

Holy crap you don't make these things easy do you Stacie?

I'm going to have to vote for Lifeforce because I want to see what everybody else has to say about it.

(notice how I made it appear as if I didn't care about the naked space alien vampire zombies? Smooth eh?)

spazmo said...

I don't think I've seen 'Schizo', so..."Come on Schizo! Move your bloomin' ass!"

Argghh, just can't stop staring at the huge proportional disparity between Briefcase Lady's upper and lower halves!

Stacie Ponder said...

"...as long as you keeping using the phrase "Marjoe fucking Gortner" in the review."

No doubt I would. When watching Earthquake recently with a friend, I said "Marjoe fucking Gortner", and at that moment I realized that I always say "Marjoe fucking Gortner". I have no idea why.

Barleycorn, I always knew you were a freedom hater! If you don't like it, move to Russia! USA! USA! USA!

Wow, this is gonna be one exciting election. Lifeforce is starting to take a commanding lead- it just goes to show, something something naked something.

Speaking of something, there's something kind of heartbreaking about Briefcase Lady. I think it's those tiny legs and the David Byrne-style oversized novelty blazer and the utter joy at who knows what. She'll definitely be sticking around these parts.

I'm so sensitive today!

elgringo said...

I'm going to side with Luca Trifilio and vote for the underdog, House of Seven Corpses. Because 1,000 is too many and six just isn't enough.

Scott
he-shot-cyrus.blogspot.com

Denis Faye said...

I actually thought Gnaw: Food of the Gods Part II was funnier, but I put my money on FoG.

Same's true for CHUD II and Waxworks II.

You're really funny. I'm linking you to my blog.

Dr. Hackenbush said...

I like voting.

House of Seven Corpses!

Natazzz said...

I used to love watching movies like these, but I haven't in quite a while.

This is a good excuse to get back into it.

I hope a really bad one wins. I heart crap movies...

Spammer Scammer said...

I actually love the very excited womans 80s inspired outfit! She's pretty hot

Charles said...

Giant Rats & Ida Lupino or naked space vampire bat thingies & Patrick Stewart

I'm going to have to go with naked space vampire bat thingies just on principle.

Drew said...

Briefcase Lady looks like my mom's friend Denise, who likes to come to my parents' house and gather interesting twigs and leaves from their yard to use in her art projects. Or at least that is what she says.

gil mann said...

I'm going with FotG even though I'm a Lifeforce fan from way back. Giant animals just seem like they'd make for a better write-up.

Lifeforce would be the more ambitious choice, though. It asks a lot of unanswerable questions. I dunno.

No, y'know what? I'm voting for Schizo. I feel sorry for it.

Chris Cooke said...

Hey John Barleycorn - Communism can be the BIGGEST democratic choice.

anyway - If you decide to ignore LIFEFORCE (I voted for it cos it's mental) and pick FOOD OF THE GODS over it, we'll all understand. Both are as mad as each other. But Lifeforce squandered more money in the making and is sooooooooo enjoyably trashy. But FOTG's is hilarious. Not as hilarious as the sequel mind you...

blah