Holy friggin' frig, I've been gone so long...so long, I don't even know where to start. Where have I been? Take your pick- one or more of these might even be true!
1) I was stuck in a fugue of blog ennui
2) I was stuck in front of my Xbox 360 playing Grand Theft Auto IV
3) I was stuck working, working, working
4) I was stuck where the sun don't shine
5) I was stuck on you, and you didn't even notice
6) I was stuck in between my glass shower doors after I slipped and fell getting out of the tub, just like that morbidly obese woman I saw once on Sally Jessy Raphael. I was on the phone with my friend Brandi and we were both watching it and after recounting her tale of getting stuck in between the doors, the woman said "I could have died", which is really kind of preposterous if you think about it.
So, one or more of those. Yes, I have neglected FG for far too long, but let's not dwell on that. Let's live in the NOW, which is all fresh and exciting!
Umm, okay. You know what, Charles Nelson Reilly? That really doesn't help matters. I've acknowledged my lameness and I'm moving on. We're all moving on, and I think you should, too. Existing in the now and all that. Thus, let's get on with it! This is gonna be a big one, so look out!
*that's what she said*
ITEM! It's Wednesday. You know what that means by now, right? It's AMC day! Head over to read all about horror movie moms. Because last Sunday was Mother's Day, and I'm all ten kinds of timely and shit.
ITEM! Look what I made! See? I was busy while I was away. I got another commission and I made it a reality. Go, Cthulhu, go! RARR!
As always, check out my MySpace gallery to see what's available, or get in touch with me to request your own Very Special Painting. These are 12" x 12". These are $100, including shipping. These are fun to do.
ITEM! Thanks to a terribly kind and enterprising reader (and owner of an awesome horror website), I have finally seen [REC].
Hotchie motchie, I fucking loved it. LOVED IT I SAY. The word "ride" is used to describe an awful lot of films on posters and whatnot- "an action-packed thrill ride" or some such shit, but it's incredibly rare when the word actually applies. I think it absolutely applies here- once the action kicked in, [REC] didn't let up. Only when it was over did I realize I'd been holding my breath; seriously, the last...oh, ten minutes or so had me curled up, clutching a pillow, and not breathing. It was fucking awesome. It's not a film that I want to pick apart, to analyze and review- it was more of an experience I want to savor. Horror movies can be so damn unscary, that when one comes along that scares the bejesus out of me (and this one did- I actually had a nightmare about it. I don't have nightmares! I woke up and I was all freaked out and I didn't want to open my eyes and I couldn't go back to sleep), I want to hug it and treasure it and cram the DVD down my pants. I will say, however, that it's one of the very best (if not THE best) "found footage" films I've seen. The sound design was amazing. It was so fucking intense!
I'm not sure whether or not I'll bother with the forthcoming remake, although I am terribly curious to see what's done with it.
Is it bad that I wanted to type "I am terribly curious to see how much Hollywood fucks it up"? Yes, that's bad. Don't be a hater, Stacie!
THE BIGGEST ITEM OF ALL!
Okay, so listen to this. I review movies and blog a bit for a website called After Ellen (yes, I blog for other sites, as you know. Seriously, I need to have an outlet for my love of America's Next Top Model and I doubt you people want to read about it here...unless Leatherface is a guest judge or something). Well, After Ellen and Logo recently sponsored a contest calling for a new webseries to premiere on both sites, the only rules for which were basically 1) it must be rated PG and 2) there must be some lesbian content. Thought I, "I will enter this contest!" and I did. Knowing me as you do, surely you figure that my series would be horror related, yes? Yes!
WHO LOVES LESBIANS AND HORROR MOVIES AND ANY COMBINATION THEREOF?
The whole entire world, that's who!
So, I created a webseries, made 3 episodes of said webseries, entered the contest, and was crowned RUNNER UP in said contest. I'm super pleased, as I figured I didn't stand a chance in hell because...well, horror can be a bit of a tough sell to some crowds, never mind crappy horror films. As my prize, I get to...uh, make ten more episodes, which will be shown on After Ellen and Logo Online.
EPISODES OF WHAT?
Episodes of Ghostella's Haunted Tomb, that's what! Here's the deal: Ghostella is a bargain basement Elvira-wannabe who hosts awful B- and Z-grade lesbian horror movies from her garage. Each episode, clocking in at under 20 minutes, will feature a complete B- or Z-grade lesbian horror movie (written and directed by moi) as well as Ghostella's antics. That's kind of an awesome idea, right?
The series launches today! There's a little interview with me talking about the series right here, which includes a link to the first episode. Ghostella presents Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear, a true schlockfest of lesbian vampire erotica all the way from 1968.
Lesbian vampires! Who knew?
Episodes will run every Wednesday, which means I have a lot more short horror films to make. HOORAY! I'll let be sure to post here whenever a new episode is up. Ghostella rules!