Okay, I don't even want to know what exactly a lady-shaped gun would shoot.
From the coolest box art for the worst effing movie department:
Wait...so there's no time to scream, but then I'm silently screaming which isn't even possible to begin with? Quit messing with my head, Silent Scream!
Kitties are "lusting" for humans? Really? Eww.
Okay, yeah yeah, I get the whole mind-Stockholm Syndrome thing. But turning her body against her? What, did they make her punch herself in the face? "Stop hitting yourself..."
I need to see this RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. This casting is way too good to be true.
Uh, yes...yes, it is. Just ask that bitch who almost beat me at Clue that one time...oh wait, you can't. She's dead. Here's the solution: Final Girl in the den with her fists!
That fate is obviously being trapped within a never-ending series of Halloween masks.
So...the jitters are like herpes? Suddenly everything makes sense!