FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

Dec 2, 2008

who likes to buy stuff?

The answer is: EVERYBODY except perhaps Ebenezer Scrooge. Yes, children, it's that time of the year when people spend money they don't have buying gifts for people they don't really like out of obligation. So, I say unto thee, BEHOLD, for today is a grand day for a Grand Opening, is it not? Boils and ghouls, I give you, my brand newAmazon shop!

Take a look around, why don'tcha? Mayhaps you'll find that special something for that special someone. There's a permanent link over yonder in mah sidebar, so anytime you've got the itch to buy something from Amazon- which happens to me all the time- just come on in. I'll be adding stuff all the time, so check back if you feel like it. Or don't, if you're not cool enough.

If this was a real Grand Opening and not just a cyber one, I'd have cupcakes and fruit punch for you, I swear. Maybe even a barbershop quartet or a small brass band! Certainly the Mayor would be in attendance, and he'd hand me those giant novelty scissors with which I'd cut the ribbon that'd be draped across the front door of my shop; then everyone in the town square would let out a cheer, and people would rush in and buy so many copies of Sssss that I'd be able to pay my rent! "Hooray!" they'd yell..."Hooray!" and the crowd would lift me up and I've feel even prettier and more popular than Courtney Thorne-Smith of television's Melrose Place did when she was crowned The Dairy Princess in the made-for-TV thriller Midwest Obsession. Later on the mayor would hand me a Proclamation on REAL PAPER stating that December 2nd is, in fact, Final Girl Day, and he'd also give me the key to the city, which I didn't even know was my life's dream until right this very second.

Uh, anyway.

You know what else people love to receive for ChristmaKwanzaKkah? REAL ART! Yes, it's true. Giving art to your nearest and dearest for the holidays makes you seem classy. Why not commission a painting from moi before time runs out? Why, these fine works adorn some of the finest walls in all the land; doesn't that make you want to yell "Me too!" or something?



I realize this is an awful lot of pimping and I feel a little gross about it, but then again I'm broke. Happy holidays!

14 comments:

Neil Sarver said...

I bought Ephemera once before and the results weren't pretty...

... but seriously, nice looking little store.

The Monster said...

Good luck with the amazon shop! Particularly like the 'Animals run amok" category (partly because amok is possibly my favourite word). I have a horror-themed amazon shop too - http://www.monstermoviedvds.co.uk I'm sure its bad etiquette to say that, but then monsters have no etiquette... and I'm UK-based, so not a wicked competitor or anything. I don't have a 'hagsploitation' category either :)

christine said...

When I browsed the 'Children Hate You' category, I knew I'd see "The Brood". I was not disappointed.

Arbogast said...

I bought Ephemera once

Me, too. I got tired of it pretty fast, though.

dtownla said...

WORMFACE! WORMFACE! WORMFACE!

Scott Weinberg said...

You added more categories?? Neat.

Natazzz said...

Nice little store. Who needs ribbons and mayors with such a nifty collection.

Especially loved the non horror section...it looked a little like my own collection....or at least it does now...

Stacie Ponder said...

Scott, I think the store's "homepage" is Animals Run Amok- maybe you thought that was all I had...? I plan on adding more categories- soundtracks, TV shows, and video games- as soon as I get my stamina back. Pointing and clicking is surprisingly exhausting after 10,000 hours of it.

Wormface, it's nice to see that someone's finally here to represent the...uh...wormfaced population.

Scott Weinberg said...

Add. More. Books.

Stacie Ponder said...

That's very helpful, Scott, thanks.

Scott Weinberg said...

OK, I placed an order. Not a big one, but a box set I need and a second copy of a new classic because the first one I stupidly lent to someone and then forgot whom.

And I meant, like, novels.

Stacie Ponder said...

Yay for orders! Thankee! I found so much stuff I want as I was adding items, and some of it is surprisingly cheap.

You know, I thought about adding fiction, but it just seems so...insurmountable or something. Maybe it's not though. I figured I'd wait and see if it'd be worth the effort...? Hmm.

HMM I SAY.

Scott Weinberg said...

Does Amazon show you what your customers bought? If so, you should post a list....

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I bought the Val Lewton box and a fresh copy of A'LINETIEIRIEREIURER.

Stacie Ponder said...

Those are two of the things that are surprisingly cheap! INSIDE for five bucks? Fuck yeah!