Sep 29, 2010
Sep 28, 2010
I wish I could take credit for coming up with the name "Take Back the Knife", but I can't (hat tip to my friend Dara for that one). I just don't have that sort of clever-pun-riddled brain. Like, if I opened a hair salon I wouldn't call it, you know, SHEAR MAGIC or something. I'd probably call it HAIR CUTS.
Also, I posted up the third episode of Space Girls. You should watch that, too. I mean, if you want to. No pressure or anything.
Sep 24, 2010
There are "candles of DOOM" for sale at my grocery store. Siiiiigh...oh Halloween, you're so dreamy.
Now go VOTE while I go figure out what to do with all your responses. Don't worry! This is is how I feel about the whole list thing in my heart and loins.
Sep 23, 2010
...what are you doing the weekend of October 15-17? If you live in Los Angeles or perhaps feel like traveling to Los Angeles, then you should hit Creation Entertainment's Weekend of Horrors in Burbank. Why? Well, because the lineup is pretty durn sweet: Bruce Campbell, Clive Barker, Jeffrey Combs, Adrienne King, Joe Bob Briggs...guys, the dude who played "Madman" Marz is gonna be there! You should show up in your TP belt buckle. I know you have one, so don't be frontin'. He'll be impressed!
Because I care, I'd love to make it easier for you to attend by giving away a pair of tickets to two- yes, TWO- wicked lucky winners. All you need to do is send an email to stacieponder (at) gmail (dot) (c)(o)(m) with WOH in the subject line, and cross your fingers. I'll draw the winners' names randomly, so no ass-kissing or promises of bribery are required (THIS TIME). Email me by...oh, October 9th to enter. Hooray! Stuff to do!
Sep 22, 2010
I packed this one with more people than ever I've packed a thing before. Shannon Lark, Heidi Martinuzzi, Lena Headey, Nicole Pacent, Thomas Dekker, Amanda Deibert, Jade & Nikita Ramsey, Brea Grant, Stacey Storey, Pete Loughran, Anthony Fitzgerald, Blue, Hot Cocoa...it's like Battle of the Network Stars or something. Hooray! Here are some stills you can print out and tape to your bedroom walls. Then pull up your pants and get ready for IN SATAN'S CLOSET!
Sep 19, 2010
Sep 18, 2010
Sep 17, 2010
So there's my dilemma, which I guess isn't really a dilemma and honestly, I'm not sure why I shared it at all beyond, you know, how sharing is nice and the such. It does tell you what caused me to do the FENECH edition of AMPF, though, so I guess my lame story was worth something after all!
Wow, I either need a lot more coffee or a lot less.
PS - No, I didn't include Hostel II because looking at the posters for it, they just didn't seem like it would fit in with all of these beauts. New vs old, everything was better back then, blah blah blah.
Sep 16, 2010
Sure, it's horribly (HORRIBLY I SAY) out of date- last updated June 2009- but it's still a terrific resource for those of us who dig it when horror and video games hang out together.
I've played most everything on there that's not a PC title, although I'm still a bit desperate to get my mitts on a copy of Rule of Rose.
How many have you played? What's your favorite title on there? Aren't video games the best?
Sep 15, 2010
...and man oh man did I fall for it in Necco Conversation Heart-"American Vampire, can I hold your hand?"-style. I guess that's what happens when I encounter a horror comic book with gorgeous art, terrific dialogue, tons of blood, and vampires that are monstrous. That last, you see, is the key that sets American Vampire apart from most every other bloodsucker who's sparkling around town these days. The book, published by Vertigo, is vicious and violent. In his introduction to this edition (which collects Cycle 1, the first 5 issues of the ongoing series), Stephen King says:
...it's all about giving back the teeth that the current "sweetie-vamp" craze has, by and large, stolen from the bloodsuckers. It's about making them scary again.King and Scott Snyder, the writer behind the series' concept, succeed in giving vampires...well, by giving them their bite back.
Wow, that's bad. Sorry.
There are two storylines at work in the book. One, written by Snyder, is the tale of Pearl Jones, a hardworking wannabe starlet scraping by in 1920s Los Angeles. King relates the origin of Skinner Sweet, a mean ol' outlaw turned vampire- America's first- in 1880. As the two stories intertwine, blood and bullets fly. It's European ideals versus the western frontier as somehow Snyder and King manage to give a fresh take on the vampire mythos. Most importantly, however, the two have created characters you want to learn about, characters you invest in and root for and root against. I kind of fell in love with everybody, and I couldn't turn the pages fast enough.
I can't say enough good things about Rafael Albuquerque's art, either- I wanted to eat this book. From the crispness of Pearl's story to the lush washes of Skinner's, Albuquerque and coloist Dave McCaig have created a harsh, rugged world inhabited by distinctive characters.
The next cycle of American Vampire heads to Las Vegas in the 1930s, and there's more to come after that. I thought I was completely tired of the genre, but this book seriously bowled me over and I honestly can't wait for the next. For me, this is definitely a "hit the comic shop on Wednesday" series. Fans of horror, fans of bloodsuckers, fans of comics, fans of King- there's a lot to love here.
The bee-you-teous collected edition features all 5 issues of the first cycle as well as a cover gallery (including variants by the likes of Jim Lee and Paul Pope), a foreword by Stephen King and an afterword by Scott Snyder. Super wicked highly recommended, the hardcover hits comic stores on September 29th and bookstores everywhere on October 5th. Yeah comics!
Sep 14, 2010
A DELIGHT IT WAS NOT...but it's not really the movie's fault, I discovered quickly enough- it's the cruddy 50-pack quality of the transfer. Sometimes you can live with it, and sometimes you simply should not. Remember how I said as much when I recently reviewed Messiah of Evil, how you'd be cheating yourself if you watched the Mill Creek cheapo version and not the special edition? Well, I'm going to take my own advice with A Bell from Hell. Yeah, I watched the whole thing. But the audio was so damn awful- I mean truly, truly, truly
The picture quality was equally awful, but I'll get to that.
Basically, I got enough of the gist of things to know that the film had to be better than what I was watching. I wondered if there was a better version out there somewhere- and guess what? There is! Take a gander at these comparisons between the "Chilling Classic" version I watched and Pathfinder's Special Edition:
There are COLORS! I had no idea. And this isn't the worst of it; there were certainly plenty of times I couldn't tell what the hell was going on at all.
So, I'm going to pretend I've never seen A Bell from Hell at all. I'm fixin' to seek out the Special Edition so I can give both the movie and my eyeballs the treatment they deserve. The multi-packs are sneaky, you see, and cheaper isn't always better. They've got good films- really good films- mixed in with the utter crap. I know enough to stay away from the obligatory Argento films, to wait to see those the way they're meant to be seen. But A Bell from Hell...I didn't know, I swear! A real review, then, will have to wait..as will we. Nyah.
Sep 13, 2010
Of course not. It's a terrible movie, with a terribleosity that's deeper than a simple...well, terribleness. See, fans didn't like it when, at the film's end, the face beneath the infamous hockey mask reveals that the killer is Roy the paramedic and not Jason the Voorhees. It doesn't feel like a neat twist on the series, although Jason purportedly dies in The Final Chapter and this is purportedly A New Beginning so the imposter angle sort of makes sense. That's beside the point. Dagummit, Jason is Jason and that is that!
However, I'm not here to argue the plot or the Roy or the anything except the Friday the 13th Victim of the Week (and yes I use the word "week"...umm...loosely), and that victim is...
Dudes, I don't know what happened to me. I fully intended to have the amazing Violet (who I've mentioned before) as the VotW...but then Farmer Ethel (Carol Locatell) came on the screen and I lost all control. ALL CONTROL I SAY. I've always pretty much hated Ethel and her loudmouthed son Junior. In fact, I've always pretty much hated this movie, with the exception of Violet and her hair and her dance moves...but today, something changed. Something changed within me, friends, and I don't know if I'll ever go back. Suddenly- oh so suddenly- my hate turned to love! Suddenly I found Ethel to be hilarious and amazing, and a fondness for all of Friday the 13th Part V bloomed within my heart like...I don't know, a flower or some shit. Junior still sucks, but Ethel is where it's at, baby!
She comes blasting into our lives on the back of a dirt bike; it seems a couple of "perverts" from the "loony bin" were humping in her yard, so she gives the sheriff and the whole loony bin a piece of her mind. She threatens to blow their heads off with a shotgun, and she claims to have a bomb on her.
While I don't condone the violence, Ethel kind of has a point. If troubled teens repeatedly humped in your yard, wouldn't you do something about it? I would. And, like Ethel's, my something would probably include this:
Ethel goes on with her miserable existence, holed up in her filthy farmhouse with her awful son. Their one bright spot seems to be her fabulous stew, although she occasionally spits in it. Hey, maybe they're into that. Who am I to judge?
I think she really won my heart when she called her son a "big dildo". I swear, she's like a little Adrienne Barbeau-as-dirt farmer! No wonder I'm under Ethel's spell. I could make a list of cinematic women who use inappropriate language with authority and it would be a list of characters who tickle me to no end. I don't know why it took me so long to add Farmer Ethel to that list, but she's there now and that's all that matters.
In one of the loudest and most obnoxious scenes in the film, Ja--err...Roy puts an end to Junior's big mouth and Ethel meets her end while cooking another batch of her famous stew- oh, if only we could all die while doing something that we love!
Mind you, if this was Part One, that cleaver would have been buried in Ethel's forehead- not simply implied to be such as she plops face-down amongst the vegetables. Still, it's nice to see that the time-honored Friday the 13th tradition of people squeezing produce as they die is being upheld here (see also: Banana Girl).
Oh Ethel. I'm sorry I've neglected your greatness these long years. I've finally rectified that, though, by naming you Victim of the Week!
Yes, it's truly a subtle performance.