FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 15, 2005

Part V: A New Beginning
Oh, my. Oh, my, my, my. Well, this one is the Halloween 3 of the series, isn't it? The one that doesn't really belong with the others and no one likes?

See, it ain't Jason doin' the killin'...this time, it's Roy, the Paramedic! Eyyyaaaaahhhh! Tommy Jarvis makes a return appearance, but this time he's about 10 years older than he was in Part IV, and he's spent those 10 years in various mental institutions 'cause he done gone nuts! Now he's at a halfway house kinda place, and he sees Jason everywhere. When Roy the Paramedic dons the hockey mask and grabs a machete, it's up to Tommy to stop him.

The franchise lost about every shred of dignity with this installment. The characters are just caricatures: we've got the jive-talkin' sassy African-American (the first of the series) "Reggie the Reckless"...the fatso, who's always eating and has chocolate running down his cheeks...the sullen punk rocker...the filthy white-trash farmers, "Ma" and "Junior"...the greasy haired thugs in leather jackets...I mean, where's the Indian Chief in the headdress? Where's the Eskimo holding a spear? Gah. In addition to the pathetic characters, there's terrible over-acting- especially when people are supposed to be scared. There's lots of...ahem..."humor", and the special effects amount to...blood, just about exclusively. Tom Savini, we hardly knew ye.

The body count is insane: 21, all told, although 2 of those were in a dream sequence. Yes, yes, don't worry- someone goes through a window.

The highlight is, without a doubt, MORE EXPLODING CREDITS! Yep- this time, the logo blows up when the hockey mask flies through it. I was so psyched. Oh, it makes me happy every time. But that was in the first two minutes- I had to sit through another 90 or so!

The ending shot is Tommy, who's put on the hockey mask and is holding a butcher knife in an "I'm gonna stab ya!" fashion...will he pick up Jason's mantle? I guess I'll find out with the next movie...

It's dark out now. I have a slight headache...must...eat...pizza...

6 comments:

Des said...

Best part of this one is the opening dream sequence. It must be the rain

Stacie Ponder said...

Must be the COREY FELDMAN!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

This is some dedication you have, working your way through these sequels. And for this I salute you!!

Slyde said...

ah, after my love of pt 4, i RAN to the theatre when this one came out.

the funny thing is it came out about 6 months after 4, which was the quickest id ever seen a sequel be made.

and i agree... this one is the worst of the lot, but it IS the movie with the biggest boobie count of them all (yes, i counted!), so ive gotta give it something....

p.s. i LOVE that you are reviewing these movies. In the 80's i was a HUGE F13 fan, and the nigth before each film opened my friend Jen and i would watch all the previous film...

Stacie Ponder said...

Better yet, I reviewed them ALL in one day! I did it/this was written the year Final Girl came into existence, and I wanted to make SHOCKtober super special...so starting at around 7am I started watching Friday the 13th, and I finished with Freddy vs Jason the next morning, writing up a quick review in between movies. MADNESS. Butt-numbing madness, I tells ya!!

Joe said...

eh Cmon, Violet! Violet! Violet! She makes the movie.