FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

Jan 17, 2007

Hey jerk- speed kills!

What did we all do before Al Gore invented The Internet? No, really- however did we manage to live without a constant stream of information, or without being able to voice our opinions under an assumed name? How did movies get made...nay, how did Hollywood even exist without the chorus of a billion cybervoices saying "No! Not like that- like this!"? It's a curious thing, this Internet.

I'm not claiming to be innocent of this, to be sure. Obviously I give my opinion all the time here at Final Girl; in fact, I must say...I'm not crazy about what you're wearing at the moment. I do, however, realize that my opinion is just my opinion- I like what I like, I don't like what I don't like, and while none of this means you're any less of a jerk if you disagree with me, I'll gladly discuss anything with anyone..."discuss" being the key term here. In case you're wondering where I'm going with this, don't worry- I'll get there. I guess I'm simply tired of people who seem to think that because they can figure out how to sign up for a free blog, their opinion should somehow be taken as gospel. I'm happy if people come here and read my posts and enjoy them; I'm even happier when people keep coming back and there's a dialogue created. Honestly, though, I'm just someone who really likes movies- particularly horror movies- and I love having a place to talk about them.

I promised you a point, right? Right. Ain't It Cool News ran a post about an early draft of Rob Zombie's Halloween script, going into quite a few details. We'll get to that in a minute. For now, check out this post at Movies Online, wherein Mr. Zombie responds, presumably to the Ain't It Cool post as well as the rest of the internet concerned about the movie.
I notice that so many people get crazy when someone you don't even know posts an opinion about what they think HALLOWEEN will or won't be. This is crazy. Do you really go through life influenced by the thoughts of others that easily?
The dude's got a point. While I can't say that- going by what I've read- I'm at all excited about the new Halloween, it's still not here yet. The movie is a long ways from being released and we'll just have to wait to see what ends up onscreen.

What really got me in the Movies Online post, however, was this bit of commentary from the author:
Halloween has gone through the ringer in the last few days as a bunch of blogs run news that the new film is not true to the original. I think that is a blogs job. I think people should speak their minds, put filmmakers on the spot and more importantly help mold filmmaking.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA. It's my job to help mold filmmaking because I have a fucking blog? Since when? Anyone out there with any kind of a blog or website who read that and said "Right on!" to themselves needs to read this and get a fucking grip. I consider myself to be fairly knowledgable about movies (because I like them and therefore I read about them and watch them...how complex) and I have both acting and directing experience, mainly in the theatre. Couple those with the fact that I made a blog and now I should help steer the course of Hollywood? Bullshit. I'm sitting here in front of a computer typing a blog entry, pushing my cat out of the way, drinking a Diet Coke and listening to Julie London...what fucking authority does that give me? You know, John Carpenter somehow managed to make Halloween without the help of The Royal Order of Geeky Film Bloggers...

No wait, what I mean to say is that I'm always right about everything and I know exactly what Hollywood should do despite the fact that I've never written a full-length screenplay or directed a full-length, multi-million dollar motion picture. I do have a blog, after all. Heed my word, people, heed my word!

Really, it's a fine line. I suppose that this little rant may seem hypocritical of me with the way I'm always spouting off about bad movies and they could've been good if they'd only changed this one thing. I just want to see good movies, that's all...or movies that are so bad they're good...because I love them. I guess I simply want people to know that I realize that having a blog doesn't make me an authority- just someone with an opinion and a place to post it. I'm not jaded, I'm not cynical or bitter or a frustrated filmmaker- I'm just a horror movie fan. Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of all this, but the Movies Online thing made me feel all gross and apologetic. Blogger's guilt, perhaps.

But let's end this on a happy note, OK? By popular demand, I give you....

More HEIDI THE GLAMOUROUS ASSISTANT in action!






13 comments:

Josh said...

I wonder if said movie ranter paid any attention to just how little Blogs helped Snakes on a Plane in the long run.

That being said, I like to think of blogs as the editorial page for the world wide web (and I'll include myself in that bracket) where anyone is entitled to their opinion, but I don't work for the motion picture industry and have no business dictating how they do their job.

The most we can really do is decide whether to see a movie or not, and to spread the word, but does bashing Rob Zombie's Halloween script guarantee the movie will suck or rock? Or that he's going to say "Oh shit! The fans don't like it, let's switch gears!" and change his movie?

Nah.

End of Line.

Amanda By Night said...

As Devil's Advocate I would like to state that soap operas pay a lot of attention to their fanbase and it can sometimes dictate how things go story wise. It makes soaps kind of interactive and that's great.

However, do I think bloggers/reviewers/journalists/critics have any right to TELL someone how to make their film? Hell Fuck No! Do I want people to read my stuff and enjoy it? Hell Fuck Yes. But it certainly doesn't mean I think I'm the word of God.

The internet is a great way of expressing oneself, but if you think for a second you think you should tell Rob Zombie how to make his film, you're kidding yourself. The movie will be what it will be but really, this is his vision, whether I like it or not.

The only way a person should represent themselves to Hollywood is really by ticket sales. Don't go see the damned thing and give the producers money if you think what he's doing is so horrible. And let it go.

Plus I don't think Mr. Zombie gives a rat's ass. He's going to do what he sees fit. He is a fan of the genre and I am hoping for the best, but I'm not going to write him and say "Hey Mr. Zombie, wouldn't it be great if..." Puh-lease.

Chad Saxelid said...

Word...Megadittos...You're A Great American...and, uh, I can't think of any "I agree with you" slogans from the other side of the politcial fence just now. So I'll just say, "Yeah, I agree with you."

Dang, somebody beat me to the Pink White Elephant that is Snakes On A Plane. Oh, yeah...Snakes on a Blog and the umpteen You Tube parodies really got the ticket sales cooking on that flick, didn't they?

NOT!!!

I to am just a schmo with a blog, a cat that refuses to stay outta my way (after 16 years you'd think he'd learn) and a cup of joe to keep my now 40 year old synapses firing. While I enjoy posting my ill-informed opinion about books, movies, comics, and TV shows, it's just my ill-informed opinion and I don't take it all that seriously. That others do (and they do, I get e-mails from 'em!) just floors me. And flatters me. :blush:

That being said, I went to middle school with a girl that looked just like Heidi. She was really nice.

dreamrot said...

If I can influence Hollywood by virtue of having a blog, then I have to say I have a newfound purpose in life (and thank god. I needed a new one, I just ran out of adjectives to describe the flavor of stamps (the self-adhesive ones never tastes as good...)).

That new purpose, a Godzilla zombie movie.

Imagine a world where not only do giant monsters fight each other and destroy major metropolitan cities, they also turn each other into zombies with a never ending hunger for human flesh. That would be so amazing.

Amanda By Night said...

Dreamrot, I have Hollywood on the other line!

telltale said...

You know, Chad Saxelid, I went to high school with a girl who looked just like Heidi. Maybe it's the same one. Wouldn't that be weeiiird?

the2ndsuitor said...

I agree, Stacy. However, I do feel qualified as a human being with proper 20/20 vision & the ability to tie my own shoes, to make the following statement:


"Michael Bay sucks."


that is all.

Craig Moorhead said...

"John Carpenter somehow managed to make Halloween without the help of The Royal Order of Geeky Film Bloggers..."

I'm going to turn that in to a T-shirt.

No, seriously. I'm going to make a T-shirt that says that.

Mark said...

I will say I really don't have a strong interest in horror films or movies in general. I just read this blog because I think it's fun and every once in a while I will try to get a hold of a movie that receives a favorable rating. I don't read other horror blogs, or other blogs in general. The point is, Stacie, your 80s slasher horror film themed blog is gospel to me. Thanks for making it fun.

Chris Hopper said...

I think deep down Rob wants to please the fans. I think that is why a lot of hardcore horror fans love his movies. I don't think Devil's Rejects would have been made if he wouldn't have had fan pressure to expand on the characters. The good thing is he knows when to tell everybody; fans, studios, bloggers, and critics, "Enough!" I think it is a good balance for someone as active as Mr. Zombie with projects and within the community.

And, Heidi is HOT! Thank you Stacie!

ryan said...

YAYYYYY! HEIDI!!!!!!! *dances around, throwing sparkly things into the air*

Rachael said...

Heidi does have radiant skin.

Lunchmeat said...

I'm sick of people throwing off on films that have yet to even start filming. I hate when people who consider themselves the 'whole authority' on the horror film because they're fans of 'Friday the 13th', start griping because a film isn't the way THEY wanted it. I've got a few choice words for these people: "Buy a godamn camera and make the fucking movie yourself'. Critical viewpoints are always going to be expressed - hell, we wouldn't have movie critics if not for an opinion. I just find it nerve wrecking when some supposed fan of horror disses every new horror film to hit theaters. I don't understand everyones fascination with remakes - not the fascination on why hollywood decides to make them-remake them. I always hear the same argument - It doesn't hold true to the original -or- This will tarnish the legacy of the original. How the fuck do people come up with this shit? A remake doesn't change the original. It's not gonna magically erase all existing copies of the original. I don't like remakes either, but all in all, won't a remake bring MORE people to the original? So called horror fans need to stop complaining and be glad we're actually getting some horror.