FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Jul 17, 2007

I Know Who Something Something

Yahoo! Movies has the full-length trailer and a clip from I Know Who Killed Me, the Lindsay Lohan is some girl who gets kidnapped by some cuckoo nutso and she's either killed or she escapes but no matter which she wakes up and is all "I'm not Lindsay Lohan, I'm Dindsay Dohan" and there's a mystery or something and she strips, but I'm not sure if she strips when she's Lindsay Lohan or when she's Dindsay Dohan or what movie that opens on July 27th.

I don't know, y'all, it looks like some prime Sunday afternoon Lifetime shit to me...and that's a good thing. Who doesn't love a good thriller? Only jerks don't love good thrillers. Gawd I hope there's a scene with an incriminating box of newspaper clippings- those are my favorite kind of thriller movies.

Clicken ze big big

Now, I don't care what you say...I love Lindsay Lohan. I have this theory that once she stops...you know, acting like a 20-year-old and gets her shit together, she's going to shock audiences and all her critics- SHOCK THEM, I SAY- by proving herself to be some sort of amazing actress. Yes, that's my theory...you just wait! She's already really good, but no one seems to notice.

Someday I'll also tell you about my theory regarding the combining of ketchup and mustard.

17 comments:

Theron said...

I think she's already a really good actress.

I'm glad I didn't have to grow up in the tabloids. Having said that, if I HAD grown up in the tabloids, I like to think that I would have made an effort not to, ohhhh, say, crash my car into a van full of paparazzi while drunk and stoned and naked...or whatever it is she's done (I only pay quasi-attention to such items, but I'm bound to have hit at least one of them).

Stacie Ponder said...

She IS already a good actress, and I feel like that's gotten overlooked in all the tabloid bullshit. Unlike 99% of the other tabloid fodder, I think she actually has talent- and like I said, when she's done with the partying maybe that'll be her focus.

I can't imagine going through my late adolescence in the public eye. I mean, there are plenty of incriminating photos of from back in the day, but man...they're not appearing in Star, you know? Yeesh.

rural juror said...

that movie looks hilarious

Bill Walsh said...

Lindsay Lohan is a VERY good actress. Indeed, I'd say she has the talent to be a great actress, but obviously not the temperament or discipline (yet, one hopes).

Although if your synopsis holds, she may be one twin-sister-cop-who-goes-undercover-as-a-stripper-to-solve-her-disappearance away from moving from Lifetime to Cinemax.

On a more serious note, I think the danger she courts is that her behavior could cost her enough reputation to render her unhireable, or give her a box-office slump that'd send her career into the toilet for a decade. (Which might not be so bad, if she spent that decade getting herself together.)

I hope it works out for her (not least because I think she's great on screen), but I'm not putting any money down on the prospect in Vegas. Or wherever you can make those bets. Hell?

Stacie Ponder said...

But THIS stint in rehab will stick, I just KNOW it will!

I gotta say, I'm fervently hoping for an 'evil twin' scenario here. It's a well-known fact that 'evil twin' scenarios improve any film by no less than 7%.

Bill Walsh said...

"I don't have a drinking problem! I'm really good at it!"

You know who would have been an awesome evil twin? Jill Hennessy. Not only does she have an actual twin (though the awesome South Park split-screen shots may mean that's not entirely necessary), but back in her Claire Kincaid days with that Louise Brooks bob? Oh, man, she could have been the hottest ice-queen murdering evil twin evə!

Not so much since she called Christie Brinkley's Prell bluff and proved that it is possible for hair to have too much body.

Erin said...

Hmm, I feel sort of persuaded by your enthusiasm but I think I still wait for the jury on this one.

And I love the 'han!

Theron said...

Does anyone else think it's fishy that these supposed nude photos of hers have been stolen right as her stripper movie is about to come out?

Sad man said...

Lindsay is a skank, but a good actress. She proved it in A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION. But unless she gets clean I don't see much future for her.

spazmo said...

Random factoid!
Jill and Jackie (Jack and Jill, get it?) Hennessy grew up right here where I am sitting now. Ok, not exactly on this actual swivel-chair, but fairly close by.

Not surprisingly, they were inseparable in high school.

After graduation, poof! Off to bigger and better things.

Theron said...

They were great in "Dead Ringers." Of course, it's hard to be bad while playing twin prostitutes...

Erich Kuersten said...

It's a sexist double standard because Robert Downey Jr. done all this same shiite, and oh he was just a naughty boy struggling with his addictions... while young girls must be punished! There's all this weird Norman Bates-style stuff at the root of this tabloid obsession.

I say ignore all the tabloid stuff the way you ignore NASCAR and World Federation Wrestling, it's all of a piece, and has nothing to do with what counts in an actress and that's the same as with an actor, performance!

That said, while I LOVE that picture above, I think the film will suck, ala Demi Moore's STRIPTEASE.

Stacie Ponder said...

Why did I not know that Jill Hennessey has a twin? I feel as if I've only lived half a life.

Erich, you absolutely nailed it- there's an amazing double standard. How many chances has Downey been given? Bah. BAH, I SAY. And don't get me started on Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain!

Believe me, folks, I realize my enthusiasm for this movie is so fervent simply because I'm a HUGE sucker for these silly thriller movies. I mean, I looooooooove The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. So when one of these genre flicks stars someone I actually like, I'm all over it like long grain and wild on rice.

false-maria said...

I don't know what Sivertson is doing directing this shite; but we'll see, I'll try to keep an open mind. He needs to concentrate on getting The Lost, a.k.a. one of the best horror movies of the past ten years, distributed...

Bill Walsh said...

Hey, Stacie, Stephen Hunter, a terrific film critic, had this quasi-rave about it. Check it out. Hope San Diego is treating you classy...

Bloody Mary said...

well, hey! Check out all the LiLo love up in here!

She had me at The Parent Trap - mastered the dual twin role at age 11 :)

Bloody Mary said...

And I must stand up & witness - I heart NASCAR and Demi Moore in Striptease.