FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

Aug 31, 2007

another awesome movie poster friday


When I was a kid, I didn't get that Motel Hell (1980) was supposed to be...you know...kinda funny. It scared me. It scared me baaaaaad.
I love that the phone booth is full of those styrofoam peanuts. Hey, you gotta prop up a corpse somehow!
This poster is ridiculous on so many levels, I don't even know where to start.
I want to hate this poster, but it's just so awful that it puts a twinkle in my eye.

WOW! Trailers on Awesome Movie Poster Friday?

This is the teaser for The Strangers I saw at SDCC. This teaser rocks. Pleeeeeeeease (fingers crossed) let this movie be good.



AND...so you don't think I exaggerate or lie or I'm crazy...

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE. This is in my office, which is in a converted garage (please don't point out how badly it needs a paint job). Or it was...until CoHabiTron 2000 took care of business, if you know what I mean. Obviously I managed to take a snappy snap first, though I was shaking with terror! SHAKING! WITH TERROR! And then later I consulted my insect guide book (doesn't everybody have one?) and learned that the egg sac of the black widow can contain up to, like, 500 eggs. This means there could be at least 499 more of these right in this very room! It's kind of the coolest thing ever, in an I could die at any moment because of these spiders in my house kind of way. What? That's not overly dramatic. In fact, these black widows are making me embrace life way more than Dead Poets Society ever could. And they make me feel goth!

21 comments:

Jesse Hammer said...

Run, Stacie! Run!

Anonymous said...

You know, i think it says something that i was enjoying the posters til i scrolled down and saw the creepy goddam spider! Dammit, you gave me a chill.... I live in northern California where there are tons of those, as well as brown widows, brown recluses, and Mount Diablo is covered with migrating tarantulas every fall. I spend a lot of time squishing.

JA said...

Seriously Stacie, I would burn my house to the ground and salt the earth if I were in your position, so, uh, good on you for being stronger than I. I almost threw my best friend off a second floor balcony because a bee flew at me; I can't deal with anything that has more than four limbs - IT'S UNNATURAL!!!

I love that the critic's blurb on When A Stranger Calls is from After Dark magazine; my boyfriend has this immense collection of After Dark's and they're this cheesy gay rag from the 70s/80s; think Studio 54 and men in lycra unitards. Hysterical.

ARBOGAST said...

my boyfriend has this immense collection of After Dark's and they're this cheesy gay rag

Um... does your boyfriend go out for long walks late at night?

Bill Walsh said...

Ok, poisonous spider: very cool. Not a little scary, but very cool.

And that ludicrous Deadly Games poster—perhaps a refutation of Einstein's assertion that God does not play dice with the universe? "Maybe so, Al, but a giant disembodied hand does occasionally shoot craps on someone's face in a pool of blood by the light of the full moon."

ARBOGAST said...

I'm sad that we're never likely to see the word "unequivocally" again on a movie poster.

Mariana said...

I love surrealist stuff like that Deadly Games poster! And bravo for the teeth in The Fun House.

m13b said...

Wow!

With nothing in that picture to set a proper scale, I'd have to say that having black widow spider(s?!) the size of catcher's mitts in the house would certainly put the heebies straight into my jeebies.

Goose said...

Spiders are the only thing that gives me goose bumps. I know, sad huh.

Jay Amabile said...

i've never seen deadly games...i dig the poster though. It's avant shlock.

John Bem said...

Thank you for the fun posters Stacie. Final Girl continues to rock my world. Woo! Out of all the posters, I've only seen Funhouse, which is a delightful lil' monster movie. I'll admit that I'm intrigued enough by the Pranks poster to wanna give it a try. I think it's the phrase "Coed Stew" that does it. Now that autumn is approaching, I'm looking for some hearty recipies to keep me warm during the cold months. Oh, and please don't get killed by spiders. We would miss you terribly.

Sad man said...

Spiders freak me out...Brrr.

Oh, the the exorcist poster you made Stacie was absolutely brilliant. Especially the scale part.

Stacie Ponder said...

John, the poster for Pranks is about 50,000,000 better than the film itself. I've got a review of it kicking around here somewhere, and man...I took one for the team by sitting through that. Not so-bad-it's-good, just...dull.

Eyes of a Stranger and Deadly Games are the two I haven't seen...the first is getting a DVD release late this month, I believe.

I realized way after the fact that I should've had something in the spider photo to indicate scale...I'd say the belly was about as big as a big blueberry.

JA- the only reason why I didn't completely flip out is because it wasn't moving at all. Things that crawl fast or...god help me...fly at me, however, is another story altogether. I totally turn into one of those 1950s housewives from the Tom & Jerry cartoons, standing on a table going "eeeeeeee!"

I've learned that Black Widows rarely leave their webs, so that's a plus. Also, though they are THE most venomous spider in North America (and more venomous than the rattlesnake and the cobra), when they bite they don't inject a lot of venom; thus, the mortality rate is extremely low in healthy adults, something like 1%. Yay!

But now I feel like they're crawling all over me, so I have to stop typing about them.

John Bem said...

Stacie, I found your review for Pranks. Thank you for saving me from this (apparently) horrid movie.

ARBOGAST said...

Okay, so I'm the only one who's seen DEADLY GAMES. It's a real 80s curio with murders among a Desperate Housewives-style community. Canadian actor Sam Groom (POLICE SURGEON, DEADLY EYES) and Steve Railsback (HELTER SKELTER) lead the cast as a sensitive nice guy and his weirdo cinema projectionist friend (remember appearances can be deceiving... except when they're spot-on) and Jo Anne Harris is the uber-annoying heroine... will she be the Final Girl, or the Final Victim? And if that's not incentive enough, Dick Butkus has a featured role.

mollie said...

OMG you should do something about that soon thats fucking scary lol. OMG can I write you're eulgy just in case >?

Cronos2 said...

Sorry for being a bit addicted to this site, but it´s been days since your last post now, Stacie. DAYS!!!

the2ndsuitor said...

Pranks poster is pretty misleading, a body stuffed into a stew might of helped that movie out. I don't remember that happening in the movie itself, which means it either didn't or I nodded off.

The Strangers looks radical. That phrase "Based on True Events" is now what "As Seen on TV" used to be. Who cares?

Beware of the spiders. I bet you have inadvertently eaten some! ;-)

arthur teagarden said...

actually those are flowers in the phone booth on the "eyes" poster.

Favorite Movie Review said...

Great post on your blog.

Stacie Ponder said...

Someone does end up in a big pot in Pranks, but it's STILL disappointing. I've got a picture of it in the "Notable Slasher Death" post, which is over on the right, there.

Mr Teagarden, upon closer inspection it seems you're correct- those ARE flowers. I'm going to go on thinking it's packing peanuts, though- that's MUCH more entertaining!

And thanks, F.M.R.!