FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

May 21, 2008

The Wednesday Bea Arthur

I just realized that these Wednesday title posts surely don't make a lick of sense to folks who don't remember my original middle o' the week news post, The Wednesday Bee. Then again, the running joke may only make sense to me regardless. Bah! Clearly Bea Arthur is as shocked as you are.

Beware the monitor upon which you read this warning, for it may kill you! It could totally happen. I talk all about stuff like that, kinda, in this week's AMC column. We all know to stay away from haunted houses, but who knew that anything bad could ever happen in a bed?

Ahem.

It's Ghostella's Haunted Tomb time, bitches! Episode 2 stars the awesome Bridget McManus and is titled The Devil's Bum Bag, which tells you all you really need to know- there's a cursed fanny pack. This piece of crap, direct-to-VHS slasher is from the heady days of the early '90s, when films like these were a staple of USA's Up All Night and CGI still wasn't de rigeur in horror. You know, the glory days of junk!


Don't be a freedom hater, you! Get your vote on and help decide what the next Final Girl Film Club pick will be. Your Film Club needs you, and so does Briefcase Lady. She also needs a sandwich, so try to help her out if you can.

Get your community on over at The Final Girl Seven, a fledgling Facebook group that already boasts posted photos of Charles Nelson Reilly and Shelley Winters, just like all the coolest groups do. Don't be afraid to add videos, pictures, whatever. Start a discussion about why you think bugs are neat, or how your bursitis is flaring up, it doesn't matter. The only rule is, there are no rules!

But wait, isn't that a rule? How can there be no rules if there's a rule about no rules? Omigod it's blowing my mind! WOW.

17 comments:

Natazzz said...

Love the new Ghostella episode. I have seen slashers a lot worse than this one, or at least a lot less entertaining.

I do hope the barbies will be back at some point though.

ladracul said...

Actually, the best Bea Arthur gag has to be in the movie "Airheads" where they ask for her naked photos as demands for an insanity plea.

"Bea Arthur...nice."

Fox said...

Oh my! I hope that grandpa isn't trying to evolve the "d*ck in a pizza box" joke to the level of a grill!

Although, he would be my hero if he did...

ARBOGAST said...

Fanny packs get a bum rap.

Tanveer Iqbal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Adam said...

Briefcase Lady is feeling it cause it looks like a pump, but feels like a sneaker. The Grillmaster is psyched because he feels like chicken tonight.
Ghostella is a certifiable face-rocker! Keep up the good work!

JA said...

Stacie, I think one of your episodes need to be titled "The Helling Of Haunt House" now.

And "shuddering in your shorts" sounds like something the AARP sends out pamphlets about. You may want to get that checked.

Pierce said...

Is it said that I've never heard of them referred to as "bum bags?" On the other hand, Really liked the episode! That totally would have fit in with the "Up All Night" lineup.

and Yay! for the mention of "Deathbed" in your AMC column. I still have no idea why I enjoy that movie so much.

RnB said...

I just found your blog. Great idea to blog a guide of Horror movies. I'm gonna keep up with this one definitely

loan said...

I think this post at mortgages website is closer to the truth than yours..

ismail said...

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Stacie Ponder said...

Normally I try to zap spam comments, but the one from "loan" cracks me up so I think I'll keep it. And here I thought I was revealing the truth about mortgages! Thank goodness someone can point me in the right direction.

"The Helling Of Haunt House"

Holy crap, that's so awesome. I need to make that RIGHT NOW.

Pierce, I think 'bum bag' is more British-y..."The Devil's Fanny Pack" just doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely.

I wonder if all these pictures of "excited" people with white backgrounds were taken at the same time/place.

Fox said...

Actually, that grandpa grill picture could double as a "cursed fanny pack" screen-cap.

As for "Loan" the mortgage person, maybe they were drawn here by the aura of Briefcase Lady... or maybe it IS Briefcase Lady!

whitelabcoat said...

I like loan's spam, but ismail's is ... wow.

Corey said...

devil's bum bag: i quite enjoyed 'stab-cam.'

bea arthur: my scariest bea arthur experience was seeing her sing in the star wars holiday special.

Anonymous said...

You need to insert the word WHO in between the words BUT and KNEW in the line just above where you type the word Ahem.

Stacie Ponder said...

Thanks, anonymous! I just knew there was something wrong with the internet.

Corey, I'm glad you enjoyed stab-cam...I know it makes no sense. It's so wrong, it's right!