FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Sep 23, 2008

i've got all the patterns down up until the 9th key

Since last week's AMPF, I've been virtually unable to stop thinking about The Boneyard. Any movie that combines Phyllis Diller, Norman fell, living corpses, and poodles (both living and zombied) is really nothing more than one of my wet dreams caught on film.

Yes, I went there. Don't judge me!

My Boneyard fever (which, surprisingly enough, is remarkably similar to Pac-Man fever) only intensified after I sought out the trailer. Pay extra special attention around the 1:28 mark- if that's a reanimated Phyllis Diller, then honestly...Hollywood can just shut the fuck down right now. The greatest movie that could ever be made has already been made, and it is The Boneyard!



I'm digging on that trailer big time. Maybe it's the narrator's voice, maybe it's the title font...whatever "it" is, that trailer has a definite 70s vibe, which is surprising considering the movie was made in 1991- not exactly a banner year for horror. I don't know how I've managed to exist so long without seeing this movie. My life, clearly, has been lacking!

16 comments:

John Barleycorn said...

Holy shit! I kind of need to see this now. But what's up with the trailer being 30 minutes long? I feel like I've already seen it.

Cunningham said...

Eff me sideways....

Phyllis Diller by way of Big Daddy Don Roth!

I'm going to have a cigarette and a shot.

Marty McKee said...

Netflix has it, and, yes, you need to see it. Zombie Phyllis Diller is beyond awesome.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Poodles+ Phyllis Diller = terror.

I am The Son of Madblood said...

Was that girl in the trailer laughing when the giant zombie poodle came crashing through the door? She was tote laughing at it.. and - Miss Poopinplatz?!? Isn't that the German word for uncontrollable bowel movement? Thanks.

Keywolf said...

That is indeed a gigantic zombified Phylis Diller!
The UK dvd features an interview with her and she's so funny. And it has that trailer, which I always loved- probably cos of the way he says 'Boneyard'. And that he keeps repeating it.
Phylis Diller trivia: The Boneyard is the only movie to feature her real hair!

Bill Walsh said...

INT. FORT STACIE - DINNER TABLE - NIGHT

STACIE is sitting at the table eating her BOO BERRY cereal for dinner. HEIDI ENTERS, gives the cereal a skeptical glance, pours herself a cup of COFFEE from the maker on the counter, and starts looking in the fridge.

STACIE (excited)
So, Heidi, seriously, The Boneyard has a giant, zombified Phyllis Diller. And Norman Fell. I mean, how did this not sweep the Oscars? Clearly it's the best movie ever made.

HEIDI
This again? Really? I swear you've spoken of literally nothing else for four days.

STACIE
Well, why would I? I mean, with the prospect of the Boneyard out there? Seriously, I found some publicity stills on eBay. There's this smudge on one that I think might be Phyllis Diller's autograph. Or what if it was fake blood from the set? I wonder if I licked it if it would still taste like corn syrup. Oh, that reminds me, your credit card is next to the computer.

HEIDI
Great. Just great. Merry Christmas from me. Stacie, I'm actually getting a little concerned about your Boneyard monomania.

STACIE
Heidi, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this movie is the answer.


(Long way for a Simpsons joke, I know....)

Theron said...

Wow, 1991? Really? Then most of the stars probably really WERE reanimated!

karen_c said...

oh my fuckin' goddess, this is the best overlooked film ever!!!!

Wow, I need to look for it on VHS at my local video store - wow!

P. K. Nail said...

This was already on my Netflix queue after you listed it on AMPF, but I hadn't seen the trailer. Between re-animated Phyllis and the ZOMBIE POODLE, I think I may have to move it to the top.

brandiweed said...

Despite the look of the trailer, this film came out in 1991, according to the IMDB. The rather short plot synopsis is a pipparoo.

Brandi said...

Stace,

DID PD just say "Party Hardy"

dude...

It has taken the Diller to make me finally say something here.

Wes Fierce said...

Boneyard is on page 20 in "Fangoria's 101 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen" printed in 2003

Kmart said...

Phyllis Diller and a giant, killer poodle? I haven't been this excited since Ranch Fritos hit the market.

Old Dark Housekeeper said...

The part where the girl starts laughing at the zombie poodle is one of my favorite moments inn the film....

... I mean, what the hell else would you do in that moment?

Dean Treadway said...

I love the "yipe" sound from the zompoodle as it blows up at the end! I have to admit, I'd LOOOOVE to see this! Diller and Fell? Are you kidding me? The world has been waiting for this combo.