FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 24, 2009

Day 24: "Midfolker."

I'm not sure whether or not you should spend any time reading this, because I'mma be real wit chall: I didn't finish watching The Toybox (2005). Nope. Couldn't do it. I gave it a half an hour, and then I had a little epiphany: yes, I decided that SHOCKTOBER would feature a review every day...and for Day 24, I tried. I really did, I swear. I did a little more Hulu research- after all, The Spell was swell- and I decided to give this film a whirl despite its low rating. Apparently the end makes suffering through 75 odd minutes worthwhile...well, it's up to someone with a stronger constitution than my own to find out. I felt guilty turning it off, as if I was failing to fulfill my duties as proprietress of This Old Blog, but then I figured hey, no one would want me to suffer, right? Right. Life is short- too short, really- to be spent watching caca when I could be watching something rad. Occasionally it's worth pushing through the pain to write a fun negative review...or maybe a film will end up hurting so good. I'm not sure where The Toybox would have ended up in that regard, but I'm already moving on to greener pastures.

Stilted, unnatural dialogue that was virtually all exposition...a molasses-slow plot train that seemed headed to nowhere...unlikable characters...yes, this film truly had it all. As I said, it seems that those who managed to push through found some sort of gold at the end of the painbow, but no your humble proprietress. Nope. Couldn't do it. Couldn't stand the crap for Day 24, sorry- my standards are much higher than that.

Coming up for Day 25: Nail Gun Massacre!

4 comments:

Theron said...

I feel ya, sistah. Been there done that...or didn't done that cuz I turned it off too.

Knarf Black XIV said...

So you're moving on to Nail Gun Massacre? I hope you have booze or friends to join in the suffering, because hoo-boy is that one a stinker.

It's also got the worst twist ever, considering that the bike helmeted killer is clearly being played by a female actor for most of the movie.

Hud said...

The Toybox is horrible. I somehow finished it but it was a painful experience that I've managed to repress!

Stacie Ponder said...

Yeah, Knarf, I figured I'd use it to show that in fact, I have no standards!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who couldn't make it thorough this movie. Ugh, I've already mostly forgotten about it, which is a really good thing!