FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

May 21, 2010

awesome movie poster friday - the MASSACRE edition!

As fans are well aware, "massacre" is one of the most overused words in the horror title pantheon. It conjures up such horrendous images in the mind that slapping it on a movie poster or box guarantees titillation and, at least, a rental. Unfortunately, fans are also well aware that only one or two "massacre" movies actually live up to the promise of the word.

Now, you may be thinking "Umm, where's the Texas Chainsaw variety? Moron!". To this I say "Patience, my pets. Next week. Surely the film deserves its own AMPF edition, yes?"

You may not know: many films feature "massacre" in their alternate titles. Por ejemplo, Strange Behavior is also known as Small Town Massacre; The Nesting is also known as Massacre Mansion, and The Final Terror is also known as Campsite Massacre. Dazzle your friends with useless knowledge!

Yes, I realize that Nail Gun Massacre is actually a VHS box, but it's not as if the film ever saw a theatrical release. I've been thinking about NGM a lot lately, and I've been struck by the urge to watch it again- if I indulge, it will surely be my undoing.

In other news, I desperately want to see Meat Cleaver Massacre. A killer with tiny heads on his fingertips? Sign me up!










11 comments:

Richard of DM said...

Don't forget Drive-In Massacre!

CashBailey said...

The people who made NAIL GUN MASSACRE actually had The Cinema Snob's YouTube channel taken down because he dared make fun of their masterpiece.

I guess they don't realise that his video review is probably the most entertainment anyone has ever gotten out of their movie.

CashBailey said...

Or DEMENTED DEATH FARM MASSACRE.

Thomas T. Simmons said...

Why couldn't ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE be half as cool as it's poster? Is that too much to ask?

Andrew Green said...

Effective posters....
I want to Netflix each of those movies.

bbofun said...

Random thoughts (the type I most have when planning a massacre)-

The "Hospital Massacre" tagline would work better if the title was "Massacre Hospital".

The kids on the left side of the last poster are threatening me with a knife; the kids on the right with.. the world's largest cigarettes?

It's nice to see them using the internal meat thermometer in the "La Massacre Del Microondas" poster- it's important to raise the internal temperature of your head to 165 degrees to prevent salmonella.

Verification word: coushin- what you sit on on a "cooch".

Dan K said...

That "Microwave Massacre" poster is off the hook.

And by "off the hook," I mean completely nasty.

And by "completely nasty," I mean I want to see it.

The Floating Red Couch said...

I've decided that I want to watch every one of these movies, but I can't seem to find 5 of them -- Hospital, Sorority House, Central High, Sumber PArty, and Meatcleaver --- actually SH, SP and CH are available by torrent, but Hospital and Meatcleaver are MIA. Any suggestions that don't involve me spending money?

Stacie Ponder said...

The only suggestion I have that doesn't involve paying somehow is to borrow it from a friend. :)

The Floating Red Couch said...

Stacie, can I borrow Meatcleaver Massacre and Hospital Massacre?

Stacie Ponder said...

Sorry, I should have been more specific. From friends who own them. I, alas, do not. Nor have I seen them!