FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Aug 25, 2010

EXORCISM MOVIES: a flowchart

The Last Exorcism opens this Friday. Are you worried that with all the possession-flavored movies on the market, you'll be mired in head-spinning and puking to the point where you can't tell your Regans from your Emily Roses from your Nells? It's understandable- you're not alone. That's why I made this flowchart to help everyone figure things out. Because I care!

EDITED TO ADD: No, I did not include every possession/exorcism movie ever made in this chart, thank you, I realize that. Like lists, when I post these things they're meant to be pleasant, horror-centric, time-wasting diversions that, perhaps, start discussion. They're not meant to be all-inclusive.

click to embiggen


20 comments:

Lela Richmond said...

Quite the handy little field-guide, as it were...

Anonymous said...

Missing loads of other movies out.

Is 'Goat rimming' an important theme?

JA said...

I like my girls hairy from the waist down! Only I call them boys, and they're hairy in every direction. I have lost control of this thought. Point being, you liked The Last Exorcism then? I'm trying not to excite myself too much but I am excited nonetheless.

Stacie Ponder said...

I knew that variations on "you forgot this" would come up immediately. No, I did not intend this to be an all-inclusive thing, charting every possession movie ever made. I intended this to be a funny diversion.

I don't know how "important" goat-rimming is thematically, for I imagine that depends on personal...tastes. However, it it certainly a noteworthy enough scene to include it here to differentiate The Antichrist from other films. It's a rather notorious scene, the one people mention when talking about the movie.

Stacie Ponder said...

I did like The Last Exorcism, although the ads are pitching it a bit wrongly, IMO. It's not straight-up razzle dazzle horror. It leaves a lot of doors open for discussion in the end, which is nice.

dave s said...

This, Stacie, is excellent! You bring me great joy.

Ghidorah said...

Could you draw the same thing for zombie movies please?

christine said...

Love it! Spot on and hilarious.

John Eno said...

Fabulous stuff. Thank you.

A.J. said...

Rumor has it that goat rimming is going to be a demonstration sport at the 2020 Summer Olympic Games.

No word yet on distances/formats. 50 meters sounds right to me, in a purely theoretical way.

You could have had a branch in your flowchart that read "Is Linda Blair dressed up in a giant ice cream cone costume, shouting 'LICK ME! LICK ME!'", and the YES resolution would have been "Repossessed".

Cheers,
A.J.

Stacie Ponder said...

Aaah, you're right! I've never actually seen REPOSSESSED (probably why it never would have occurred to me), but I missed a good opportunity for another branch.

B.E. Earl said...

"Did someone rim a goat?" = win!!!

Not, like...ahem...for me personally. Just the joke. Dig?

scarina said...

The "No: Dummy" part made me laugh so stupidly hard. I stand by this, judge me as you will.

Art Almquist said...

Wonderful, Stacie!

And YES, sir (or madam), goat rimming IS an important theme. In fact, it's THE important theme. "The Exorcist," in leaving it out, is all the weaker for it.

Superhands said...

Goat rimming just happens to be in my favourite nasty, Island Of Death, I haven't seen The Antichrist but I bet it doesn't have cool hippy music and a hottie like Celia (and phonebox sex that Tarantino ripped off).

Please do some more flow charts, this made me piss my pants :p

slasherfan said...

I wonder where Amityville II: The Possession would fit...

Anonymous said...

Seconding request for further genre-specific flowcharts, due to the fact that this one was hilarious and awesome.

Zombies would be my preference as well, but we'd gladly accept anything, as long as it's funny!

Kirk Hamilton said...

Note to self, go see The Antichrist. It ain't a proper movie unless someone rims a goat.

haaaaaa

The Floating Red Couch said...

Holy shit! The Antichrist was my answer. ..... The chart really worx!

Dan said...

Great stuff. Though I wouldn't mess with this shit! ;)