FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE...beware yon spoilers!

Aug 7, 2009

A poll for you----eh, never mind

In the interests of synergy, I was about to create a poll in order to determine the most annoying secondary character in horror. I began listing out the jerks who are so jerky you just sit there hoping they'll die soon: you know, guys like Shelly from Friday the 13th Part 3, the rednecks from Friday the 13th Part 5, Steel and Rickles from Day of the Dead...but then I ran into a problem. A sweaty, sausage-chewing, spit-spitting, wheelchair-bound, pee pee in a can problem...a problem named Franklin. Yes, Frankin from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. More specifically, the problem is that no one in the history of horror or, indeed, ever is more annoying than Franklin. It's just not possible, and I mean that in a most scientific sense. I've done the math, people, and he's the annoyingestest. EST. Evarrrr.

As I sat dealing with my sads over not being able to create a poll for you to click, an idea came to me. Why not create a diff'rent poll? I mean, if being diff'rent is good enough for strokes, then it's good enough for polls.

Okay, that barely makes sense. Regardless, click and say your say!

WHICH IS THE MOST ANNOYING:

Franklin



or

This



Personally, I'm going for Franklin. Yes, the noise is annoying, but at least it doesn't smell like sausage.

18 comments:

Matt-suzaka said...

Wow..that clip is real awesome. Thanks.

I still picked Franklin though. That dude is so annoying that I would still try and break his legs, even though it wouldn't really ruin his day all that much.

Sarah said...

Based on the fact that you forgot all about Halloween 5's Wendy Kaplan, I am forced to pose the same question as every sitcom dad of the eighties: "Who are you, and what have you done with Stacie Ponder?"

Stacie Ponder said...

Well, once I got to Franklin I stopped thinking, as it seemed useless...because of that, I hadn't thought of her whatsoever. Now, thanks to you, I can't stop thinking about her, dammit! She's number two to Franklin, absolutely. Those fucking pants...

Sarah said...

I mean, a movie that horrifies us with its fashions is *almost* as good as a movie that's actually scary...right? Right?

SikeChick said...

While that noise is annoying, it's only 54 seconds long. Franklin survives for a significant number of minutes in that movie.

After reading your first sentence, f*cking Shelly was the first one to come to mind. I'm still bitter that he was killed off screen. The F13 movies are good with annoying characters. The remake was chockful of them, particularly the rich kid douchebag with his feathered hair.

I wonder though if you've ever seen Son of Frankenstein. The child actor playing the Son of Frankenstein's, uh, son is positively nails-on-a-chalkboard dreadful. Somehow, he sounds like a screechy backwoods hick while his parents are practically Victorian.

B.E. Earl said...

I went with your mom.

I've been drinking whiskey tonight and I'm feeling a little mean.

RC said...

This is more bemusing than annoying.

For me, Howard from My Bloody Valentine is probably the most annoying horror movie character. The actor who plays him obviously graduated from the Weekend At Bernies II school of comedy that says: when faced with dialogue that isn't funny simply act like a complete twerp to make up for it. Urgh. He simply doesn't die fast enough.

Brad Nelson said...

That noise is not annoying. It's pretty great, actually (says the guy who has spent a good deal of his life callousing his ears with free jazz and noise).

I cannot say that at all about Franklin (says the guy who has not spent a good deal of his life callousing himself to people with hair like that, I mean how does one get to such a desperately annoying point that his hair reflects in perfect greasy awfulness his greasy awful personality)

Cam1020 said...

I agree with you on the rednecks in Friday 5 (their scenes are almost unbearable to watch!) but I love Shelly* from Part 3, partly because I always tend to root for the underdogs in film, and because he was the only interesting person in that whole group.

I also can't believe you find Franklin annoying! I mean, he IS annoying, but that's what makes his screen time such a delight for the viewer. He's so annoying that it's ridiculous, and I love all things ridiculous. And, as the great BC at Horror Movie a Day pointed out, he looks and sounds just like Meat Loaf! That's two pluses right there, and I could keep going with this all night. But I won't.

I'm voting "Your mom".

*I also find the parallels between him and a character from Pete Walker's The Flesh and Blood Show fascinating. I don't remember the other character's name, but both are socially awkward guys that annoy everybody with their sick jokes and fake bloodshed. I guess the Italians aren't the only people the Friday series stole from!

oneofthelivingdead said...

never leave a mom option- i just can't control myself

Jim Giar said...

Oh Yeah...Fanklin hands down. This was just on IFC the other night. And for those that don't find him annoying YouTube the scene where he's left behind in the abandoned house and he mocks Mary and the gang for having fun upstairs....That's ultra annoying and I giggle everytime he runs himself into the wall.

Lee said...

The thing that still amazes me is that Dennis Hopper would want to avenge Fanklin in The Texas Chasinsaw Massacre Part 2. You think he'd be sending the Sawyers cupons to a steak house or something in thanks.

MonsterScholar said...

True, my mother is very annoying, but on screen Franklin wins hands down.

Monkeymanbob said...

I'd have to submit the entire teen cast of the Prom Night remake. Never a has host of more annoyinging stereotypical photofit of blandness been parade in the name of entertainment.

Emily said...

Ha! I kind of love that Franklin is obnoxious because it puts you in an awkward, "well, I can't really root for someone to kill the helpless lug in a wheelchair, but holy shit do I want him to die" kind of place.

For me, I put most of the cast of Snakes On a Plane on this list...mostly because a lot of the more obnoxious characters survive. Which I just don't get when the whole point of your film was to be EXTREME and R rated.

Daniel said...

Wait, does "Your mom" mean my mom or your mom?

Stephen Andrew said...

He's in Rolling Thunder for two seconds and he still manages to annoy viewers. Just not as much. I have always enjoyed a lengthy discussion about headcheese in a smelly van though.

CrunchyFrog said...

The second I read the words "the jerks who are so jerky you just sit there hoping they'll die soon," I thought of Franklin from TCM, just as surely as if what I had just finished reading were the words "Franklin from TCM." The main thing I remember taking from TCM (other than how happy the line "LOOK WHAT YOUR BROTHER DID TO THE DOOR!!" made me) is how I was nearly sobbing with my impatience for him to meet that fabled chainsaw. So, plenty pleased tho' not at all surprised (since I know that you, Stacie, have sense) that you recognize that when you say "the jerks who are so jerky you just sit there hoping they'll die soon," it is much the same as saying "Franklin from TCM."
Dutifully, I made myself listen to all 54 seconds of the clip before voting, and at first I was pleasantly surprised to find that the sound actually stops at 36 seconds, before thinking "oh dear, what if it's made me deaf?" Which I know now it hasn't, because I can hear the sound of my own typing. But even if it had, I imagine I would've voted for Franklin. I couldn't understand why EVERYone in the movie wasn't coming after him with chainsaws. (Has anyone made a movie like that, yet?)