FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Nov 1, 2005

The Post-Game Show

You take the good, you take the bad...you take 'em both and there you have- SHOCKTOBER! Poof- just like that, it's over. Wow, I didn't have to watch a movie today! How odd. Something arrived via Netflix this afternoon and I didn't even open it. Strangely, I felt restrained by my new freedom...I didn't know what to do with myself, so I played Star Wars: Battlefront 2 all day because I am a big nerd.

What can I say about this month, this experiment in insanity? All in all it was alot of fun- I saw some movies that will be added to my list of favorites. I saw some movies that should be jettisoned directly into the sun. I've listed the movies I watched, in order from the best to the worst, with links to the reviews...'cause that's just how I am. Let's see how they stack up.
The Brood- 9.5/10
American Gothic- 8.5/10
Phone- 8.5/10
Once Upon a Frightmare- 8.5/10
Alice, Sweet Alice- 8/10
The House on Sorority Row- 8/10
The Sentinel- 8/10
Night School- 8/10
Pumpkinhead- 8/10
Dead & Buried- 7.5/10
Hide & Go Shriek- 7.5/10
He Knows You're Alone- 7/10
Night of the Living Dead '90- 7/10
Stepfather 2- 7/10
Ring 2- 7/10
Body Bags- 6.5/10
The Prowler- 6.5/10
Of Unknown Origin- 6.5/10
Demons- 6/10
Fade to Black- 5.5/10
Raw Meat- 5.5/10
The Final Terror- 5/10
Alone in the Dark- 5/10
Toolbox Murders- 5/10
The Boogeyman- 4/10
Graduation Day- 2.75/10
Miner's Massacre- 2/10
Girls Nite Out- 1.5/10

And of course, the marathons o' madness:
Friday the 13th
F13-1
F13-2
F13-3
F13-4
F13-5
F13-6
F13-7
F13-8
Jason Goes to Hell
Jason X
Freddy vs Jason

Halloween
H-1
H-2
H-3
H-4
H-5
H-6
H2O
Halloween: Resurrection

Looking back, I think I'd probably rate most of them about the same. Some have aged well in the passing weeks...was Graduation Day really that bad? Some, however, have not: fuck Fade to Black. Surprisingly few bombs in the bunch! Good for me. Now, onto the awards ceremony! Please hold all applause until the end.

Movie that kicked my ass the hardest: The Brood! Man, if there's one thing I take away from this month, it will be a love for this movie. I can't say enough good things about it, and I hope to add it to my permanent collection soon. "Permanent collection"...see? Nerd.

Person I saw the most onscreen during the month: Donald Pleasence. He's in 5 out of 8 Halloween movies, as well as Raw Meat and Alone in the Dark. It was like he aged right before my very eyes!

Person I saw the most OF onscreen during this month: Too many young women to name. Many, many a boob was spotted, and sometimes even more. Tee hee hee! Nakedness makes me giggle!

Best moments: Need I mention my beloved football-with-a-sword- attached from Graduation Day? There's the exploding titles and hockey masks from various Friday the 13th movies. From Part 8, Jason Takes Manhattan, of course, there's the killing someone by punching their head clean off. The laser shooting the woman in the face in Halloween III. Lugosi Zombie from Night of the Living Dead.

Reaffirmed Infinite Love: I still really, really love Friday the 13th and F13 Part 2. My only wish for this month is that there had been more Amy Steel horror movies to discover. Halloween...oh yeah. Although that "My Paul...I can no longer stall..." song that Annie sings always gets stuck in my head. Just like right now.

Movie I loved way more than I remembered: Halloween III: Season of the Witch. As good/bad as it gets.

Most disturbing visual: It's a toss-up...the evil snowsuit-clad dwarves in The Brood...the legs-behind-the-head trick by Carol Levy from Alone in the Dark...or Beverly D'Angelo's self-lovin' through the leotard in The Sentinel.

Best comment: Courtesy of Brennon Slattery: "Linda Hamilton can chomp on my sac.".

Most infuriating: Yes, the great majority of the Friday the 13th sequels are absolute poo. But it took them until the 9th sequel (Jason Goes to Hell) to fuck themselves over as badly as Halloween managed in the 4th (The Return of Michael Myers). But I kinda liked that movie. It was Part 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers that pushed me dangerously close to the edge of insanity. I can't remember the scene exactly, as I've begun to purge the movie from my brain, but it may have been while Michael Myers was chasing his niece in a car that caused me (as Rachael reminded me today) to pause the tape...and blink back tears of rage. It was late, my ass was getting numb, I still had so many more movies to watch...I wasn't crying, but I was so pissed off at the movie that my eyes welled up. Had they actually spilled out, they would've turned to steam at the first touch of my flaming-hot cheeks. After the tears were gone, I think I had some ice cream. Yes, the movie practically turned me into a fucking Golden Girl- I needed sweets to cope. Oh and the death of Laurie Strode from Halloween: Resurrection? Don't get me started- don't even get me started!

Everything is blending together...needles-to-the-eye, heads in toilets, body parts chopped, drills in heads, bad acting, bare behinds, blood coming out the mouth...it's like a celluloid Chunky Soup in my brain. Well, not at all like that, because that doesn't make any sense. It's like an amazing technicolor dreamboat or coat or...gah.

As much as I've enjoyed myself this month, it's nice to have the gotta watch a movie pressure off. The problem is, now I have to think of new stuff to write about! My crutch is gone! But don't worry, my little babies, even though Shocktober is over, a new day dawns...let's all link pinks, make a caring circle, and shout out a huzzah!

Incidentally, thanks to everyone who's been reading and who's stuck around. You truly have rocked my face off.

364 more days til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...Silver Shamrock!

6 comments:

Des said...

Well done, Stacie.

You need a little bit of brain detox I think. NO horror or breakfast goulash for at least a couple of days.

But...if you have any extra breakfast goulash feel free to send it my way.

Brother D said...

I've not commented before, but I've been reading your blog for awhile now . . . EXCELLENT job counting down the days and bringing us movie reviews all of last month! Thanks so much!

Can't wait to see what the following months bring . . . !

Kevin Melrose said...

You're insane.

Stacie Ponder said...

Insane and crying now thanks to your cruel, cruel comment, Mr. Melrose.

Stacie Ponder said...

Oh, and thanks, Brother D! I hope you stick around.

Sorry, I was blinded by Kevin's name calling, which incidentally has bounced off of me and stuck to him.

But he may have a point...

B.A. Slattery said...

I just discovered this little mention of myself and Linda Hamilton.

The comment still stands. Chomp on. Chomp on.